YOU FOUND ME
by BlackStreak1
Summary: Ben is finally lost in his life and is now going on a journey to find himself again, but to do this he will need the help of the three people who know him best. Join Ben as he meets with the only people who can help him find out who he truly is.
1. MY DAUGHTER MERCY

**I own nothing this is just a figment of my imagination. The title and characters of this story are owned by Brenda Hampton & The Producers of ABC FAMILY CHANNEL SHOW "THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER. ENJOY**

_**MY DAUGHTER MERCY**_

Ben sped down the highway angry and upset he had just found that his new girlfriend Dylan had cheated on him with of all people Ricky Underwood's adopted kid brother Ethan. He was mad, hurt, and embarrassed, after a while of driving he reached down for the beer he had shoplifted from the gas station, and heard a loud horn sound. It was then that a loud crash occurred and then he found himself in a green meadow wearing a white windbreaker, white khakis, and white button down shirt. He for some reason felt calm, and at peace with himself a feeling he hadn't had in almost a year. It was at that time that he heard someone calling Daddy and turned to see a young girl of seven or eight waving to him, and running towards him with a beautiful smile and wearing a white summer dress. (Mercy looks like Madison Pettis)

"Daddy, you're here", said the young girl as she wrapped her arms around Ben's waste and gave him a warm and very loving hug. Ben, didn't know what to think, but for some reason he was overjoyed, and crying at this girl hugging him so affectionately. He also had a strange sense that he knew this girl, but he couldn't figure from where or why she called him Daddy. She was around 4'4, with brown hair, shining brown eyes, a beautiful smile that reminded him of Adrian. "I''m sorry, but I don't know you, and I am pretty sure I am not your Daddy" Ben said releasing the young girl from the embrace.

"Daddy, you know me I'm just not what you would have expected she said looking up at him. "I have waited for you and mommy for so long and now you're here, you're actually here", she said once again hugging to him tightly. "Who are you and what are you talking about, Ben asked still confused at the situation but accepting the girls hug. "Its me Daddy, Mercy your daughter. You were the one that named me remember." "What, look this is a cruel and very mean joke, and this is not funny", Ben said as he spoke harshly to the girl, and broke from her hug. However Ben could not get mad at her for some reason.

"Daddy, I know this is confusing for you. But, I promise you that I am your daughter." "You aren't on earth anymore you're here with me in a lovely place, and now we can finally be together," she said taking his hand in hers." "We don't have long, but you're here with me and I have so much to talk to you about," she said taking him by the hand and leading him to a log that rested near a tree in the meadow. She sat down and made a place on the log for him to join her. "You look as handsome as I imagined you'd be, and you're tall very tall," she said staring up at him.

"I don't understand, Ben said taking a seat beside the young girl on the log. "How can this be happening?" Mercy was stillborn and now you're telling me that you are my little baby, and you're so old, he said looking at her. "I know Daddy, but in this place I was allowed to be this old so you could feel more comfortable with me, its hard to understand I know." "Sometimes I don't even understand how it works myself, but we don't have time for me to explain, but I am your daughter and I really don't want to spend what time I have with you, talking about why I'm so old" she said taking his hand and smelling it and rubbing it against her face.

"This is so nice, you have such big warm hands Daddy." "Oh, I would have gotten your eyes, and your hair" she said placing her hand against his cheek, and then running her other hand through his chocolate brown hair. "Who do I look like the most you or my mommy, she asked looking at him intently as she stared at him in awe, waiting for an answer? Ben could not help but see that although she appeared his eyes and hair color and even his lips this beautiful young girl was almost the spitting image of Adrian. She even had that shining smile that Adrian usually had when they were together. She even had the same dimple on her cheeks when she smiled just as Adrian had.

"If you looked like anyone you look like your mom Adrian. You look almost exactly like her when she was a young girl, as he remembered the picture he saw of Adrian once when he and Cindy were looking through a small album that she had of her. Cindy created the album when Adrian was two, in order to try and keep track of the events in Adrian's life that she missed out on. This girl looked exactly like Adrian when she was younger and going on a date with a boy named Antonio. Adrian was dressed in a lovely purple dress, and headed to a school dance with the young boy who was her friend, and her first love.

Adrian told him that it was one of the very few times that she had been on a date, apparently only he and Antonio had ever really taken time to do things like that with her. Ben had to admit he was sad to hear that from Adrian, that out of all the guys she had been with only he and Antonio had ever taken time to actually get to know Adrian beyond the bedroom. He was shocked, when he found out that out of all the time she and Ricky were together he never took her on a date much of their time if not all was usually just spent in the bedroom. He was also a bit jealous that Antonio was a guy that Adrian said was the first real love of her life.

Ben was still dumbstruck at all that was happening, he still felt the pain of losing his daughter every day, and even more so since he and Adrian had been divorced. But, now here he was sitting in a beautiful meadow talking to her face to face. He didn't know how to understand all that he was feeling, he was so happy to be here with her seeing her, and listening to her voice. But, he also wondered where he was and how all this was possible, then a thought occurred to him, he remembered that he was driving erratically down the highway, when he came in front of another car. "I wonder," he thought to himself "could I be dead."

"Daddy, what's wrong your face changed all of a sudden," Mercy asked as she noticed that Ben's color had started to change to pale. "Nothing, I was just wondering how all of this is possible. "If you truly are Mercy, my Mercy how is it that you are here and talking to me in this place." he asked confused? "Like I said Daddy its complicated, but don't worry its okay, everything is going to be fine", she said. She then got up from the branch and sat in his lap and hugged him. Ben had never felt so happy in all of his life, not since the day that he asked Adrian to marry him and they felt their daughter move for the first time had he felt so loved and happy. "Daddy, why is your face still changing colors," Mercy asked as Ben's shade now changed from its pale white, to rosie red. "Nothing baby, its just something that happens when I am really, really, happy," he said and hugged her.

"How is mommy? "She isn't still sad that she lost me is she, Mercy asked intently wondering about her mother? "Your mom is fine she is in college now, she is happy with her new boyfriend." Ben regretted those words as soon as he spoke them, for Mercy's eyes and her mood began to change from happy to sad as she heard this. "I'm sorry Mercy, I didn't know if you knew that your mother, and I are not together anymore," Ben said trying to calm his daughter. "Its okay daddy I know", Mercy said as she got up from his lap. "It was because of me, wasn't it when I died you and mommy fell apart" she said looking ready to cry.

"Mercy it was not your fault, your mother and I were just too young, and too different to be married, and we just couldn't hold it together." "I just didn't have the strenghth to keep us together" he said getting up and kneeling down to comfort her. "Why not," she asked as she turned to face him with tears in her eyes. "Weren't you two in love, and weren't you happy?" "I felt it when I was with her." Mercy said as she looked at Ben. "At first I couldn't understand what was happening, because I couldn't see, but I could feel what she felt, and what you felt sometimes." "You were both scared, but you still felt something for each other." "How come you couldn't keep those feelings?"she asked begining to shed tears and the clouds began to turn gray.

"We tried Mercy, but we just couldn't your mom, and I were both too sad, guilty, and unhappy to be together anymore," Ben said trying to explain his and Adrian's break up. "You would have tried to stay with Amy if John died wouldn't you?" Mercy said now becoming angry which seemed to start a change in the weather around them as the wind began to blow. "How do you know about Amy and John Mercy?" Ben asked becoming confused. "In this place I am allowed to see the lives of my parents, from the beginning of their lives to the present. "I saw both of you and how you and she used to fawn over him, but he wasn't yours either of yours." "I was your baby not him," she said getting angrier.

"You did whatever Amy wanted, and you didn't even want me, did?" she said as the clouds began to grow darker still. "Mercy I'm not going to lie, I was a kid and I was a fool, I still am." "I was okay with being Johns' father, because I loved Amy." "But, I wasn't John's father, and I realized that even thought I cared for him he would never be mine, and in a way I was happy with that." "Because, I was such a naive kid then, I never imagined how hard or difficult it would be to be a father until I was going to become one myself." "When I realized that your mother was pregnant with you, for the first time I realized the truth about being a parent, and I was truly afraid, and so was she."

"Is that why you were okay with her deciding to get rid of me she asked," still angrily staring at him. "In a way yes, because it meant that I wouldn't have to grow up and I could continue to be selfish and pine for a girl, that deep down I don't think really loved me." Ben said staring at his daughter and not caring for the storm she seemed to be creating with her emotions. "So if you loved Amy so much how come you and my mother created me?" Mercy asked somewhat calming her emotions.

"The night we created you, I have to be honest was wrong." Ben said thinking back to that night he gave his virginity to Adrian. "I was mad and upset, because the man your mom loved Ricky, and the girl I loved Amy began to have feelings for one another." "So that night in a moment of anger, and pain you mom and I gave ourselves to each other to stop feeling that pain." Ben said with shame. "So I was a mistake and no more, if that was all I was I guess me being dead is a good thing huh!" Mercy said feeling ashamed of herself. "Mercy don't ever say that, EVER!" Ben said becoming angry himself.

"That night your mom and I spent together was a mistake yes, but not you." "You were the only thing that either of us thought was good that came out of that night." Ben said grabbing her firmly by the arms. "Even though Adrian and I slept together for the wrong reason, we both cared deeply for one another, and I am not ashamed of the fact that I was with her." "WHY?" "If I was such a mistake, and kept you from your precious Amy and John why shouldn't you be ashamed of both of us", she asked. "Because, when your mother decided to keep you, it made me realize how much of a fool I was." Ben said staring deeply at Mercy.

"When your mother and I decided to grow up, and try to start a relationship, it was the best decision I have ever made." "It let me see how smart, and funny she is." "And she is truly a wonderful person Mercy, I wish everyday that you would have gotten to see that." "When I was with your mom it was truly one of the happiest times of my life, and I don't regret that for a moment." "Your mom never judged me, or demanded anything of me, only that I be there because I wanted to be there, and everyday when I saw her smile, it made me want to be with her even more." "So if you loved her why didn't you two stay together, Mercy asked now calming down, and allowing the meadow to return to a peaceful place with gray skies.

"Because I loved your mother Mercy, I just never let myself be in love with her". Ben said still sitting on his knees. "I was young and I let my self be overcome with pressure to be married to soon to please everyone." "But you married Amy, Mercy said still shedding tears. "When I married Amy it was for the same reason, I felt I had too in order to please her, because she made it seem like that was the only way we could be together." Ben said looking at her. "Truth is, I wanted to marry Amy even less than I wanted to marry your mother." "I loved Amy, but I knew she was marrying me out of selfish reasons, and your mother was marrying me because she felt she had to marry me because of you and her father." "I'm not sure if I really wanted to marry either of them", Ben said as he came to a realization of his reason's for marrying both Amy and Adrian.

"If you didn't want to be married to my mommy, why did you marry her? Mercy asked looking confused. "Because, the moment I saw your mom in her wedding dress, and seeing you in her tummy, I knew that I might not want to be married, but I did want to spend the rest of my life with her and you," he said wiping the tears from her eyes. "But, why did you two split up when you lost me if that is how you felt, she asked calming down even more, which brightened the the skies from gray to blue. "Because, when we lost you we both lost part of ourselves, and even though we really cared about one another, I don't think that either of us could find our way back to being happy with each other." "But, I want you to know Mercy, that even though your mom and I are lost, and I am still lost, you were the one thing that we never regretted." Ben said now hugging her tightly to him.

"Daddy, she said as she returned his hug, and he lifted her up off the ground in an embrace." "Yes," he asked still holding tightly to her. "Why did you name me Mercy", she asked looking at him. "Because Mercy to some means forgiveness, peace, and atonement." he said looking at her. "I named you Mercy because that is what you gave too both your mom and I when we were together. "She and I both made so many mistakes in our lives, and we are still making mistakes or I'm still making mistakes. But, when you were with us we both thought that God had given us mercy for all of the painful mistakes we made in our past's. "I love you, Daddy" Mercy said hugging her father tightly around his neck. "I love you too baby, and never forget that, you are the only thing in the world of all I have done wrong that I know if I would have been given the chance, I would have gotten right," he said as he hugged her tightly. As they embraced the sun came from behind the clouds and illuminated the meadow, and shined down on both father and daughter.

Daddy, I have to go, but I will always be with you and my mom whether you are together or not and one day we will all be together again, I promise, she said as they broke from their embrace. Baby please don't go, Ben said as Mercy landed on the ground and ran into the distance so far and so fast that he could no longer see her. "MERCY! MERCY! MERCY!, Ben called to her as she ran away, and he began to cry, feeling as though he had lost her for a second time. "Its alright Benji she will be fine. "But, now I get spend some time with you, said a beautiful woman of 30 years old with red hair, dressed in an ivory dress, and smiling widely at him. "MOM!" said Ben as he turned to see his mother Sarah looking at him as though she had not aged since the last time they had seen one another.


	2. A LITTLE MOTHERLY ADVICE

**I do not own anything, none of the characters portrayed in this story or the stories afterward. This all belongs to Brenda Hampton, well everything but the plot.**

_Sorry I have not been around for a while my computer was infected with a virus and I have had to find alternative means to comment on stories. If any of you are still reading them and interested in seeing me finish then I will be happy to finish. Do to information I have received I have learned that "The Secret Life of the American Teenager", maybe canceled do to the large decline in ratings. With that in my mind I have decided to finish hopefully all my stories beginning with this one. I will also continue "Ben Boykewich", "My Biggest Mistake", and in October I will begin the chapters of "Blood Lines", and "The Secret Fairy Tale of the Imaginary Teenager"._

Ben looked at his mother with awe, and heartbreak as he saw her standing before him wearing a white dress walking toward him with her arms outstretched ready to embrace him in a warm hug. "Mom is this really you," Ben asked as he went to his mother and embraced her warmly? "Yes, Benji its really me." "My you have grown my little puppy", she said holding her son in front of her and looking up at him with a large smile.

"Mom, stop calling me that." Ben said as he looked at his mother with tears streaming from his eyes so happy to be here with his mother, and after just seeing his little girl. "Benji, it has been so long since I have seen you and you are still embarrassed by that name I gave you," she said with a laugh as her son's cheeks began to turn a rose colored from his mother's nick name. "Mom, I didn't like being called Benji as a kid, and I definitely don't like being called Benji now that I am a grown man, he said staring down at her with a grin.

"Well, excuse me Mr. Boykewich I didn't know being called Benji, by your mother still embarrassed you", she said with a smile. "But will you humor your mother for a while, its' not like I can call you by my nick name for you anymore", she said with a laugh. "No, I guess we can't," Ben said becoming sad again for he once again realized that his mother like his daughter was no longer alive. "Benji, don't look so sad. Even though I am not alive anymore, it does not mean I stopped being your mother, or that I am not with you." Sarah said as she took her son by the hand and began to walk through the meadow which was not turning into a long pathway with a garden of flowers on both sides of the path.

"Mom, where are we," Ben asked still confused of his present location. "I mean are we in heaven or something, am I dead, or is this all a dream," he asked as he turned to look at his mom. "This is something like a dream, son. Sometimes when people are sad and their spirits have taken all that they can take they begin to give up on themselves, and their life." However in the case of some people like you, those who have loved ones watching over them we have the power to talk to them in their dreams." "Also, sometimes certain events happen which draw them to this place. This world is a nexus of sort, a meeting place between the land of dreams and the spirit world where spirits meet." Sarah then looked at Ben who was taken in awe at this wonderful place.

"So I'm not dead, but you and Mercy are really are here with me", he asked. "Yes, but you can't stay here long Benji. We only brought you here so we could talk with you" Sarah replied. "Mom do you have to keep calling me Benji," Ben said in a downed tone. "Benjamin Alfredo Boykewich, do you forget how you got your name," his mom replied. "How could I forget, its one of the reason's why I started disliking dogs", he responded. "I'll have you know Benjamin that Benjamin is a perfectly good biblical name." "Yes it is mom, its a perfect biblical name. But you didn't name me after the Benjamin in the Bible did you. Or even after Ben Hur from the movie, or even Benjamin Franklin the inventor.

You named me after Benji "The Wonder Dog", Ben said looking sternly at her. "Yes, and you are named after one of the most beloved K-9's and animal performer's in entertainment history, she said with a laughing grin on her face, which made Ben smile remembering that joyful smile his mother had. His mother's smile always had a way of making him feel at ease no matter how bad he was feeling. He missed it so much when she died now here he was in this strange place able to enjoy it once more.

"Also Benji, that is because you were my little wonder," Sarah said placing a hand on Ben's cheek. "When your father and I were married it was determined, it would be almost impossible for me to have children. Then one day after going to see a re-airing of Benji for our anniversary to remember my first date with your father, we discovered I was pregnant. "Then nine months later you were born sweetie," she said looking at Ben. "You were so small, with that soft brown hair, and those soft puppy dog eyes looking just like Benji, I couldn't think of another name for you" Sarah said remembering the day Ben was born so fondly. "You weren't the one dealing with every kid in school, petting my head, and asking if they could scratch me behind the ears when they found out who my name sake was," Ben said with embarrassment.

Yes, but like your father you stood proud and took their name calling in stride" she said smiling up at her son. "What do you expect, I am a Boyekwich remember." Ben said smiling back at her. "Yes, you are Ben. You are the next generation of Boykewich men, and the son of a very great, and noble man. So why aren't you acting like it?" She said now looking at him sternly and the garden scenery had transformed into a beach at mid-day. "No I'm not acting like that, but I'm so tired of trying to be the better man like dad is, mom." "Its so hard trying to do the right thing all the time, and never being right." Ben said becoming frustrated with himself and his actions.

"I don't know how Dad does it all the time, being the good man even though others aren't." "I was there for Amy when she needed me, I put her first before everything, and it still wasn't enough." "I loved her literally under the worst circumstances, and she still chose Ricky." "I got down on one knee and proposed at fifteen, when I found out she was pregnant." "She didn't even tell me the truth about sleeping with Ricky, much less that she was pregnant, and I still forgave her, and loved her." "I got the crap kicked out of me by some bully who called her a slut, and it still wasn't enough." "I even became friends with Ricky, broke up with her, and got back together with her, and let her control the relationship because that is what she wanted. And it still wasn't enough for her." Ben then sat down in the sand and wiped the tears that were coming from his face.

"What didn't I do for her." "Why wasn't I the one." Ben said angrily. "Honey, do you ever think it wasn't that you weren't the one for her, but she wasn't the one for you." "In your whole relationship with Amy, did you ever ask yourself what did Amy sacrifice for you. She was young and pregnant, but you were young and innocent. She knew what she did, and she knew who was responsible and why, but she never told you the truth." "If she really loved you do you think she would have kept a secret like that from you, or asked you to go through all of that pain and agony with her if she had real feelings for you. Benji in a relationship both people have to be honest with each other and themselves, and Amy wasn't honest with you or herself. She wanted to pretend that her being pregnant was just a dream she could wake up from." You were the reality she wanted to wake up to but, you were the dream and Ricky was her reality.' Sarah said kneeling beside her son and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Ricky was the one she gave herself too, and whether either of you liked it he was the father of her child." She said still touching him. "I know that mom, but it still doesn't mean they had to be together. We could have worked something out." Ben said pleadingly. "Could you Benji? Could you really have spent the rest of your life with Amy, John, AND RICKY she emphasized." Could you have lived with Amy looking at Ricky with a longing expression and wondered to yourself if she wanted him and only settled for you. Could you have lived your life taking care of John, but always being reminded of the fact that he is Ricky's son." Benji you might not understand this, but you deserve better than that, and you should have wanted better than that." Sarah said becoming stern with Ben once again.

"You were caring, naive, loving, and kind, and Amy appreciated those things about you. But do you really believed she loved you." "Love is what you did, and made sacrifices to make the person you love happy even if that means that you are not with them." "You mean like how I broke up with Amy, and walked away." Ben said looking sad about how his relationship with Amy ended." "Yes like that. Ben, if Amy really loved you as much as you loved her would she have really put you through all of that only to end up with Ricky." Ricky may be John's father but she knew she didn't have to be with him. And if she loved you as much as you believed she did, she would have never wanted for you to endure so much," Sarah said feeling sorry for her son. "But, mom what if we could have made it, if I had never slept with Adrian." "Yes, Benji and you would never have had Mercy." Sara said with anger in her voice. This statement made Ben feel ashamed for forgetting that he had just held his beautiful little girl in his arms only a while ago.

"Now, tell me why didn't you and Adrian work out," she asked standing to her feet and taking Ben by the hand. "Because we were totally wrong for each other mom. The only reason we even slept together was to get back at Amy, and Ricky." "And our daughter paid the price for that." "So there was no other reason you gave your virginity to Adrian?, Sarah asked looking at him intently. Ben felt constrained by her gaze as if he was being examined under a doctors light by his mom, or interrogated by a detective in a police murder investigation. "Yes, I think that is all it was," he stammered trying to avoid his mothers' stare. "Benjamin, look at me in the eye and tell me the truth right now." she said in a very strict yet loving voice which made Ben face her looking like a child who did something wrong and was about to admit it.

"I guess it was possibly more than that," he said thinking back to that night he slept with Adrian. "So why did you lose your virginity to Adrian if you didn't have feelings for her?" she asked still gazing at her son. "Its' not that I didn't have feelings for Adrian mom its just I don't know what I felt for her" he said still confused about his real feelings for Adrian. "When I think back to that night all I want to think is it was a mistake that should never have happened, but then." he said pausing. "But then, what", Sarah asked? "Then I remember back to the first time I saw Adrian and how she looked so beautiful, and exotic." Ben said reminscing his first day at Grant High.

"I remember how she had eyes that looked like they could stop the world with just one look, and how she had a smile that was so mischevious, it scared me, thrilled me, and mezmerised me all at the same time. "I think back to how we first became friends, and how much we talked to one another, and how easy it was for me to talk to her about things I never wanted to tell anyone else. Ben said looking off into his thoughts of he and Adrian. "That night Amy had hurt me with what she said, that she kissed Ricky. I was hurt, but not that surprised. I mean, we were already broken up, and I knew she was dating another guy. But, Ricky he told me he was with Adrian and he didn't want Amy. But he lied to my face, and so did she." "She told me she had no interest in Ricky, but she kissed him. He said he was my friend then goes behind my back and kisses Amy, after telling Adrian he loves her and wants a committment with her." Ben said angrily.

"In my head I knew they were going to try something, I mean Ricky no matter how much he claims he is a good guy, and no matter what others believe in him is always going to be Ricky, and being selfish is Ricky being Ricky. He already had Amy mom I just didn't see why he would want Amy, after he had Adrian, wasn't she enough?" Ben said looking at his mother for an answer. "Then, when Adrian came to see me that night, I knew exactly what she was planning from the moment she asked me if wanted company." he said feeling ashamed of himself. "And why is that Benji" his mom asked. "Because over the year and a half of being friends with Adrian I got to know her, and the person that came to see me at my car that night was not the Adrian I knew."

"What do you mean, the Adrian that you knew." Sarah asked looking at Ben quizically. "The Adrian that I knew and became friends with was kinder, gentler than the one who was sitting in my car." "The one who I talked with over the phone was funny, intriguing, and so wise." "The Adrian who sat in the car was the exact opposite, she was flirtatious, seductive, and had no self esteem." Ben said remembering Adrian's actions that night. "So if this was not the girl you knew Adrian to be, why did you sleep with her?" Sarah asked.

"Because mom, I was not the same person that night either." Ben said with shame in his voice. "I knew that Adrian had found out about the kiss and she was hurting, and so was I." "We both cared for Amy and Ricky so much, but for some reason they didn't care." "They wanted each other and that kiss proved it, and Adrian and I both knew it." "We were both hurting, and we both wanted that pain to stop." "Adrian uses sex to feel close to someone and to stop feeling the pain that other make her feel." "That night I wanted to stop her from hurting, and I wanted to stop myself from hurting too," he said feeling disgusted with himself for having used a woman he cared so deeply for.

"So you slept with Adrian not to get back at Amy and Ricky, but to try and comfort each other." Sarah replied trying to find a reason to her son's explanation. "I guess, but we still did it to get back at them," he said still feeling guilty. "So why did you and she start a relationship with one another if all that night to either of you was a simple mistake?" Sarah asked as she intertwined her fingers with her son's as the beach began to blow a gentle breeze filling both their lungs with the smell of the ocean which seemed to revitalize, and comfort Ben.

"We started a relationship because we wanted to see if we could have those type of feelings for each other," Ben answered back. "And did you develop those feelings for one another" she asked looking at him intently? "I don't know, I guess, I was never really sure." Ben said podering that question. Did he really have genuine feelings of love for Adrian? "You're not sure, didn't you say you loved Amy, like that" his mother responded smiling. "Its weird mom, with Amy I felt that I had to be there for her to protect her and make her feel safe, and after a while I wanted to be there, then I just got so frustrated with everything." he said releasing her hand from his and staring at the beautiful orange sky.

"How do you mean, Benji. What was different about Adrian and Amy?" she asked. "With Amy it felt like, I dont' know it was my responsibility to be there for her, but Adrian was so different. She made it seem that it was my choice to be there for her, as if she didn't need me there, but she wanted me there." "Amy made it seem like I had to be there or she couldn't do it and I liked that feeling of being needed by someone." he said remembering both pregnancies and both women. "But, Adrian was so much stronger, she made it as though she could do it all by herself and she probably could have, and I wanted to be there every step of the way because that was my baby." "But, she aslo made it..." "Made it what?" Sarah asked looking at him with a puzzled expression.

"She made it enjoyable, to be there. I don't know if it was the fact that it was my baby, or her. But, even though we were in that situation together, I truly did love being there." he said smiling at his mom. "Adrian was so positive, and upbeat about the situation we were in, I mean we were two stupid kids having a kid, and we were happy with it." "I don't think I have been that happy with anyone since you died mom" he said feeling remorse for losing his mother, and also for losing Adrian and Mercy. "It was weird how when we would be in my room talking and thinking of baby names, she was so upbeat about it." "She listened to me so much, it felt like she was that part of me that I think I lost." he said feeling nostalgic.

"So if you and she were happy, what was the problem." Sarah implied. "The problem was this guilty conscience I have that kept telling me being with Adrian was wrong." he replied. "Why was it wrong to be happy and falling in love with the mother of your child Benji" she asked with a yell? "Because we were happy for doing something horrible to the people who we were supposed to have loved. he answered back. "I was supposed to have loved Amy mom, and I slept with Adrian to hurt her for hurting me, and I didn't, we didn't deserve to be happy for causing them pain. It felt corrupted and wrong to me, to feel that way about Adrian after hurting Amy like that he said frowning.

Benjamin Alfredo Boykewich stop being such a pussy." Sarah said now becoming frustrated. "WHAT!" Ben replied in shock at hearing his mom speak such fowl language. "Yes I said it Benji you are acting like a pussy. You are part Irish, and Italian, and neither of those blood lines is part punk." Sarah said standing up and facing her son. "What shocked that your mom is like this, well there is a reason your father had a get up and go in him to create such a large corporation without even having a college degree. Behind every strong man you will find an even stronger woman, and you are looking at her. " She said smiling at her son with a grin that reminded him of... Adrian.

"Mom, I never heard you act like this before." he said in shock. "Benji, why do you think your father liked Adrian more than Amy, she reminded him of me. "I was no push over, don't you think that for a second, nor was I an innocent princess that needed to be saved, like your precious Amy." "I might not have had the life Adrian had, but we both were born with that fire, and that is one thing we both have in common." Sarah said looking intently at Ben. "Amy might be a nice person, with a good heart, but she is also spoiled and selfish and that is no mistake. "Ricky is a good man underneath his bravodo, but he is also still a womanizing jerk, and that is no mistake." she answered. Adrian is a broken girl that lets herself be used to avoid being alone, and that is why she is a slut. But, her heart is usually in the right place. That girl Dylan that you let get you into so much trouble is just that, A trouble making little bitch." Sarah said angrily at her son.

Yes, you and Adrian did hurt them and that was wrong of both you and her. But, didn't you apologize too them for that," his mom replied. "I did, but I don't know if Adrian did." he answered back. "Adrian is the type of person that never says sorry for anything it is part of who she is, she just feels sorry. Which is more than Amy and Ricky can say for themselves son. "Tell me did Ricky or Amy apologize for kissing each other, or for using you and Adrian?" She said looking at him angrily. "NO, but that is because it was our fault mom." Ben said trying to defend Amy and Ricky mostly Amy. "Benji, stop trying to play the sacrificial hero, it doesn't suit you anymore. Ben, you made a mistake and you did like you always do and fessed up to it, that is all you can do. Punishing yourself for loving the woman who makes you happy isn't right for you.

"Baby, I have watched you bend over backwards trying to live up to being the man, everyone wants you to be for them. But, honey you can't be that man." Sarah said with love and conviction in her eyes. "You will never be the man Amy wants, because she doesn't really want you. You are too good for her and she knows it." "You can't be the friend Ricky wants you to be for him, because he has to learn to be a friend first." "You can't be the man Adrian wants you to be, because she wanted you to be you, and neither you nor she know who you are yet." "Nor can you be the man your father wants you to be, because he doesn't realize you aren't ready to be that man yet." Sarah said apologetically for her harsh words to her son.

"Dylan was the girl who saw that you were confused about who you were, and she capitalized on your insecurities, about who you are, and tried to turn you into the man she wanted you to be." She said becoming angry at her son's last relationship. "You are not that man, and you never will be." "Ben, you have to be the man you are, and that is a good man who tries to love others." "And if that man is not good enough for them then they don't deserve you." Sarah said. "That is the man that interested Amy, and that is the man Adrian saw in you and wanted but didn't believe she deserved." she said.

"Mom, it doesn't matter anymore." Ben said looking at her. "Adrian and I are divorced, our daughter is dead, and she has moved on to someone knew like Amy did." he replied. "He is everything, that I couldn't be, and everything that I will never be." he said feeling doubtful. "Benji, what did I say about being a pussy" his mom responded. "Just because they are together doesn't mean they are going to stay that way." "And even if they do, it doesn't mean you won't be able to find someone knew who deserves you" his mom replied.

"You have your whole life ahead of you, and a future that is still unwritten, but that future is yours to write, now go write yourself a great life story," his mom said facing him and taking both of his hands in hers. "I and Mercy will always be with you, no matter what. And do me a favor Benji she said rubbing her hand through his hair and across his cheek, make me proud." "Oh before I forget tell your father and Camille it's okay, I won't break a glass this time." Sarah said with a smile. "What does that mean," Ben asked. "Your dad will explain." she said laughing to herself.

"Mom will I ever see you again, he asked feeling sad that he would now be leaving his mom once again. "Benji you see me every time you dream." she said embacing him in a hug. "Everytime you dream of me, that is not a memory its me checking up on my little puppy," she said scratching his ear, and ruffling his hair. "Mom, stop I'm not a dog, and stop calling me Benji" he said as he ducked his head and began to straighten his hair. When he looked up his mother was gone and he was alone on the beach. "Mom, mom" he screamed only to recieve no answer. He sat down and felt he would cry, but for some reason he didn't want to he wanted to get up and find away to go back to his life, but he didn't know how.

"Now how do I get out of here," he said out loud. "I think that is where I come in a voice said walking toward him from down the beach. "There coming toward Ben was Dr. Bowman looking at him as if he had never died in the plane crash two years ago.

**NEXT CHAPTER "_A LEAP OF FAITH_"**


	3. A LEAP OF FAITH HOW TO SAVE A LIFE

I** own nothing the story is from my imagination but, the characters, concept, and plot are owned by Brenda Hampton, & producers of ABC FAMILY CHANNEL.**

**A LEAP OF FAITH (HOW TO SAVE A LIFE)**

Marshall Bowman walked down the beach toward Ben, wearing a striped shirt khakis, and hiking boots with his blond hair blowing in the wind, and a bright smile on his face. Ben recognized him as being exactly as he remembered before his death two years ago. In those two years much had changed, his little girl had lost her virginity and given herself to three men. His secret family had also been revealed to the entire town when his illegitimate son, Jacob visited his wife in Glen Valley to get to know his brother and sister.

Ben however did not care about that seeing Dr. Bowman again was almost as surreal to him as seeing his daughter almost eight years old, and just a moment ago being able to speak to his mother once again after eight years. "Dr. Bowman you are here too", Ben said standing up on the beach and greeting Dr. Bowman with a warm handshake. "Yes, Ben I'm here too, and I think I've known you long enough to get a hug at least", he said wrapping his arm around Ben and embracing him in a hardy hug.

"So, how have things been since we've last met?" Dr. Bowman asked as he stood and looked at Ben who had now changed from the naïve boy he once knew, to a fine naïve young man. "Things have been, bad since the last time we have met, at least for me." Ben said as he spoke to Dr. Bowman. Usually Ben would have been shocked to be speaking to a man whose funeral he attended only two years ago, but after spending time with his daughter, and his mom he was at ease with this situation.

"So how does that go?" Marshall asked becoming intrigued. "I have done a lot of stupid things since you and I last saw one another", he said with a low grin. "I have broken up with Amy Jeurgens, dated your daughter, had sex with Adrian Lee, impregnated her on my first try, fallen in love with her, married her, lost a child, and divorced her. "Dated a crazy girl, burned down a school, almost got sent to jail, insulted a teacher and nearly got ex-spelled, experimented with both marijuana, and alcohol, and got punched in the face by my step mom, oh and I just walked in on my crazy girlfriend screwing Ricky Underwood's kid brother", he said with embarrassment.

"Man, be dead a couple of years and you miss the whole world going by" he said with a laugh. "So tell me since you have more access to my family than I do how are they? "They're okay, I think or becoming okay, I think" Ben said. "They are going through a lot of things since finding out about your other life, and there has been a lot going on in their lives as well," he said. "Such as?" he asked. "Well Grace and Jack broke up, got back together, broke up again, and got back together." Ben said with an annoyed tone. "But, then after they got back together, Jack was injured by a pimp after helping this girl escape a bad life." "The jerk came back, and beat Jack so badly he paralyzed him from the waist down." "Now I don't know where she and Jack's relationship stand," he said.

"How are they handling it", he asked looking very concerned for Jack and his little Goldilocks. "One day at a time I think, but they love each other", Ben replied as he felt remorse for Jack and Grace and what they were having to deal with. "Dr. Bowman, how could you betray your wife like that Ben asked looking at the man whom he respected almost as much as his own father?" "I'm sorry if I am out of line with my question, but I have to know." he said puzzled about what would possess Dr. Bowman of all people to marry Kathleen, and then betray her for his first love.

"I wish I knew the answer to that question, Ben." "But, even being dead and having nothing but time to think about my past and all of my mistakes I can't really give you an answer to help you understand." he said looking both guilty and sad. "When I met Jacob's mother it was when I was younger and before I ever met Kathleen and I was volunteering with many of the African villages along the Ivory Coast that had been devastated by malaria, and outbreaks of disease. "She was a village doctor, who came from a small village and worked her way through school to become a doctor, and help her people." "When I met her I admired her determination, and her dedication to medicine and to her people." "I couldn't help but to fall in love with her." he said being as truthful as he could.

"Then, why didn't you just marry her and settle down, if you loved her, wouldn't that have been simpler?" Ben replied. "It probably would have but Jacob's mother was a proud woman, and she was honoured by her tribe to follow their traditions, and those traditions kept her from marrying me." Then my work visa in that country expired, and I was forced to come back to America, where by an act of fate I met Kathleen, and fell in love with her." "But, just like Nenei was not allowed to marry me because of her people, Kathleen's parent's didn't want her to marry me because of their religous faith." he said.

"Well, if Mrs. Bowman or Segaiy wasn't allowed to marry you because of her religion, why did she? Ben questioned. Segaiy, Dr. Bowman said looking confused. "Your wife remarried, and is getting a divorce, and possibly getting remarried again, Ben said feeling bad about his last statement. "Don't feel bad Ben, I already know about Kathleen's last husband, and I unfortunately know about her desire to be back with George Jeurgens as well." Dr. Bowman responded with a sad smile. "But, Kathleen married me because she loved me, more than she loved her faith, and that is rare. To love someone who will literally deny even ther iown family for you, because they can't bare to imagine their life without you." he said remembering his wife's loyalty to him and guilt for his betrayal of that loyalty.

"So if she was so loyal to you how come you weren't that loyal to her", Ben asked. "Because I was being selfish Ben. I wanted it all. I wanted Kathleen and Nenei and I didn't want to give up either of them, because I loved them both the same. But that was wrong of me." he said feeling ashamed. "But, if you loved them both, and they were happy, and you were happy what was wrong with having them both?" Ben asked. "Because, Ben love is complicated to understand, but marriage and loyalty are not complicated." "I loved Kathleen, and I married her because I loved her, she loved me enough to reject her faith and her family for me." Dr. Bowman replied.

"I was being selfish for not giving up Nenei and allowing her to move on with her life. "Marriage isn't just an arrangement between two people, marriage is an institution where you have to love, respect, honor, and share your life with someone else, the same way they have to share their life with you. "I wasn't ready to marry Kathleen, and because of my betrayal I was never really happy, because I denied both Kathleen and Nenei the man they both deserved." he said.

"What do you mean, I thought both of them were happy." Ben asked still trying to figure the situation. "Ben, Kathleen's marriage to me was a lie, that she believed only because she thought I was the man she loved." "She thought, I was loyal, honest, and faithful to her and our family. Now that she knows the truth about me, she hates herself, and the life we built together with our children." "Nenie is the same because her love for me, and my desire to keep her, denied her the ability to find someone who woudl cherish her the way that I did. he responded.

"Jacob, Tom, and Grace are the ones who suffered the most because they were denied the right to know one another as siblings, and Jacob felt as though he should be ashamed for being born. At the same time Grace feels stupid for comparing every guy she has ever dated to me, because she knows that I am a fraud." Dr. Bowman truly looked ashamed as he spoke the area around him changed from a breezy beach at mid day, to a cold barren terrain in a cold desert.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Bowman I had no idea how difficult this would be for you to talk about", Ben said apologetically. "No, Ben I need to talk about this with someone" he said with a harsh tone, more at himself than at Ben. "I have to confess my sin's and you are the only one around unfortunately," he said. "I guess that is best for me to do since you are more of a man than I could be, he said." "Dr. Bowman, you must be talking about someone else, because I don't even match up as a boy much less a man. "Ben, look at what you did and then correct yourself." he said looking at Ben with a smile. "You were only fifteen years old and you stepped up to be there for Amy Juergens when she needed someone the most." "You stayed by her side as best you could even when the odds were against you."

"Even though you made a mistake with Adrian, in the car you still respected her and apologized for what happened." When she found out that you two were having a baby, you didn't run away or back down you stayed by her side as well, and showed her love, respect, understanding, and forgiveness. Things she didn't even show herself." "Don't tell anyone this, but I always wanted it to be you my daughter chose, not Jack and definitely not Ricky" he said with a frown. "Dr. Bowman compared to me, both Jack and Ricky are two really great guys." Ben said. "Ben, you should stop doubting your own worth," he said with a smile.

"Jack and Ricky are great guys, but you are a great man." "Unlike them you deny your own feelings so that Amy and Adrian can be happy, even though you are miserable. "Jack needs to truly understand his feelings for Grace, and the type of relationship he wants with Grace, and give her time to ask if she wants that relationship before being involved in one." "Ricky needs to do the same with Amy, he loves Amy, but he should really wonder if he is with her because of his feelings for her or his son." "And both should learn to respect women more, before either think about getting married otherwise they will end up having children just like them or worse having to endure guys just like them date their daughters, just like I had to do. Dr. Bowman said as he and Ben now appeared to both be standing on the edge of a cliff overlooking the sea.

"So, now that we have gotten all of that out of the way, HOW DO I GET BACK HOME?" Ben asked. "Well that's why I brought you up on this cliff, Ben" Dr. Bowman said with a sly smile. "A Cliff is there an escualtor that will lead me to heaven and take me back, or something?" Ben asked. "No, nothing that complicated Ben. The way back is a simple path, at the same time its a difficult one." he said. "Well, what does that have to do with a cliff?" Ben asked. The way back is a test Ben, one that will help you discover, who you are, and help you move on." Dr. Bowman said. "Well, do I have to study for it or anything?" Ben replied being commical. "Ben this is no time for jokes," Dr. Bowman replied. This test will determine if you are really ready to go back, and it will also determine something else as well he said." "I'm kind of afraid to ask Ben responded placing his hands in his pockets and looking suspicously at Dr. Bowman.

"Ben the last test, is a test of faith. It will verify whether or not you are ready, both spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically to return. Dr. Bowman said becoming very serious. "What do I have to do?" Ben asked now taking what Dr. Bowman said very seriously. "This test is a leap of faith, Ben". Dr. Bowman replied back. This cliff is the highest point you have ever reached, and you have to jump off." Dr. Bowman said looking at Ben. "JUMP OFF!" Ben yelled looking at Dr. Bowman as though he were deranged. "Do you know just how HIGH WE ARE!" Ben screamed. "If I jump from here I could die, or do people not die in dreams?" Ben asked. "Most people, don't but in this case you just might." Dr. Bowman said looking at him with a worried expression.

"I don't understand," Ben said looking puzzled. "Ben remember what happened when you first got here," Dr. Bowman replied. "I was speeding down the road, when a truck came in front of me, and I swerved to avoid it, and then there was a crash, and I was here." he said. "That crash is what brought you here, Ben. This is a nexus point between the living and the dead. Ben you were brought here by the love of your mother and you daughter, and even me. "Had it not been for their love, and the love of you friends and family you would have died." "Huh,"Ben said bewildered. "Ben, in a way your spirit wants to die, so it can stop feeling the pain that you are in right now. "You feel angry, sad, and betrayed by all that has transpired in your life." "And of all people you have a right to feel all that, but that doesn't mean things will not get better for you.

"Get better, my girlfriend just had sex with Ricky Underwood's kid brother, after I nearly got sent to prison for her. I was literally turned into the school idiot, and laughing stock for what I did for Amy, and Adrian. Now they are living happily with Ricky, and Omar. "Ricky has taken everything from me. He is living my life with Amy in my family's apartment, and he even wants to take over my family's company"Adrian wants to start a family with Omar, in the condo that was supposed to be our home to start a family. "Neither of them loved them the way I did, neither of them suffered, or sacrificed for them, so why should I want to be alive." So I can see them live the life with other men that I wanted to live with them." Ben said filled with sadness, pain, shame, and most of all regret.

"I know I am being selfish Dr. Bowman, just like you were, but I have a right to be" he said angrily. "I never asked anything of either Adrian, or Amy all I ever asked of them was their love." So how come I was never enough, but Omar and Ricky are. "Why is it they never did ANYTHING, ANYTHING, but want from Adrian and Amy, and they are the ones they want." Ben said now crying the tears he had held back so long. "Ricky never wanted a child, but I fought for John, and he is the one that John calls Daddy." "So I gave him up, and I gave up Amy because I had Adrian, and I had Mercy."

"But I couldn't have my family, and I tried to do the right thing so how come that didn't happen "I even married Adrian, I didn't use her like Ricky did, but she still wanted him, then she wanted Henry, now Omar." "How come I am always the one left to bare the burden, and fix the scars that guys like them create, but they are the ones who get the girl." Ben said. "I don't know Ben, I wish I knew," Dr. Bowman said now crying for the young man whom he did envy for his pride, honor, and nobility. But most of all Dr. Bowman both envied, and admired Ben for his heart which he saw Ben used to endure the pain, the humiliation, and ridicule for being with both Amy and Adrian.

"I guess Ben love is blind, you don't know which one you love most, and they don't know if they loved you at all." he said. I am sorry Ben, I had two _families,_ and I didn't deserve either, yet you were denied both of you families, and you earned them both. "But that does not mean you should give up Ben.", it also means that they have not given up on you either look he said pointing to the sky. As Ben looked up he saw his Dad, Camille, his sister Chloe, Adrian, Omar, Ricky, Grace, Henry, and Alice sitting in the waiting room along with Dylan, her parent's, and her friends and Ethan. As he looks on he see's himself in an emergency room barely clinging to life.

Step one you say we need to talk  
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk  
He smiles politely back at you  
You stare politely right on through  
**(Ben is lying on a bed covered in bruises as a doctor and nurses work constantly while he is connected to a machine, and barely breathing)**

Some sort of window to your right  
As he goes left and you stay right  
Between the lines of fear and blame  
You begin to wonder why you came  
**(Leo and Camille along with Chloe hold on to one another as they wait for the doctor to give them information about Ben.)**

CHORUS:  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
**(Adrian sits beside Omar and stares off into space, while at the same time she has flashes of her first meeting with Ben as he sat in the back of her convertible and spoke back to her about Amy's choices now that she is pregnant.)**

Let him know that you know best  
Cause after all you do know best  
Try to slip past his defense  
Without granting innocence  
**(Amy sits next to Ricky and has flashbacks of Ben when he first took her hand at the back to school dance and danced with her when the dance was over.)**

Lay down a list of what is wrong  
The things you've told him all along  
And pray to God he hears you  
And pray to God he hears you  
**(Ricky holds Amy's hand as he remembers his argument with Ben about how he should get out and away from Amy because the baby wasn't his.)**

CHORUS:  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
**(Henry and Alice sit side by side and remember how they all talked and laughed with one another in front of Ben's locker the first day of school.)**

As he begins to raise his voice  
You lower yours and grant him one last choice  
Drive until you lose the road  
Or break with the ones you've followed  
He will do one of two things  
He will admit to everything  
Or he'll say he's just not the same  
And you'll begin to wonder why you came  
**(Grace sits beside Jack who is in a wheel chair and holds tightly to his hand and reminisces about how Ben showed up at her house wearing a suit and tie for their first date.)**

CHORUS:  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
**(Amy, remembers how she saw Ben leave her home the day she and he decided to start relationships with Adrian and Ricky.)**

CHORUS:  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
How to save a life  
How to save a life  
**(Jack sits beside Grace, and remembers how he and Ben talked about his wedding to Adrian in the pool house with Tom and Grant.)**

CHORUS:  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
**(Ben stands back and looks at the scene of all of his friends and family who seem to be worrying about him, as he stands on the cliff with Dr. Bowman showing him these scenes in the sky.)**

CHORUS:  
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
How to save a life  
**(Adrian remembers kissing Ben in her kitchen for the very first time, and begins to let tears fall from her eyes, She knew then she loved Ben, she just doesn't love herself.)**


	4. FORGIVENESS & PRAYERS

**" The Secret Life of the American Teenager" is owned by Brenda Hampton & ABCFAMILY CHANNEL. This story has no affiliation wiht that show save for the characters and the relationships. The story is a product of my imagination.**

**FORGIVENESS & PRAYERS  
**

**As, Ben stood on th****e cliff next to Dr. Bowman this is the scene that he watched in the sky.**

"_Why, is this taking so long the doctor should have been out here by now telling me what is wrong with my son!" Leo said angrily. "Leo calm down the accident was bad, the driver of the truck said Ben's car rolled three times and he barely got him out before it blew up." Camille said trying to calm her husband. "What, was he doing speeding down the road like that? "You, you Dylan you had something to do with this didn't you" Leo said pointing an angry finger at the young redhead, who looked guilty and ashamed._

_"Look, just because your son made another bonehead decision doesn't mean you should try and blame my daughter" Dylan's dad responded angrily. "My son might be a bonehead, but he is not some pothead, who corrupts people PUDDING POP," Leo replied back even more angrily. "Yeah, why don't you tell that to the girl he got pregnant, then divorced him." "I wish my daughter, had half the sense she had and left him before he got her to smoke that crap," he fired back. "Daddy stop!" Dylan said as she saw Adrian had heard his last comment._

_"Dont' you dare, say that about Ben." Adrian responded as she got up from her seat. Omar tried to hold her back, but she shook loose from his grasp. "Ben Boykewich is a better man than your daughter or anyone in this room, and you have no right to talk about him like that." she said angrily. "Young lady, this doesn't concern you, so please, don't interfere."Dylan's dad replied. "Oh, it has everything to do with me, because I'm the girl who he got pregnant, and for your information she said with tears forming in her eyes divorcing him was the biggest mistake I ever made, and your daughter is the one that caused all of this trouble. "Ben, only makes mistakes because he tries to help too many people at his own expense, even that pot-headed daughter of yours." _

_"Adrian, please calm down before you say something you'll regret," Omar said getting up and taking her by the shoulders. "Regret, what, defending Ben for being the only person who has ever shown me the respect I won't even show myself. For being there for me when ever I needed someone." "The only thing I regret, is that it took me being in this hospital again, to realize how much pain he was probably in when our daughter died. "I really don't know where he got the strength to be there for me after that, and when he needed me to be there for him. I divorced him and slept with his best friend." she said becoming teary eyed._

_"Adrian, don't." Henry said looking at her with guilt. "What do you mean, slept with his best friend, Adrian" Omar asked. "WHEN," "You mean the night Ricky kissed you at the party, you slept with that kid." "You, don't have any respect for yourself do you," he said looking disgusted. "You know I can forgive you, because we weren't really together then, and we can work through it," Omar said looking as though he wanted to hit Henry, or Adrian. "You forgive me, you left me that night after both you and Ricky humiliated me in front of my graduating class, and you forgive me." She said now becoming angry as well._

_"Adrian don't try to pin your need to lie on your back on Ricky, you were the one who asked for that kiss," Amy said trying to defend Ricky who as usual was silent. "Amy please, Ricky wasn't the one who gave me that kiss, you were the one who gave me that kiss." Adrian said furiously. "You get Ricky to do whatever you want now and you know it." Adrian said with anger. "You wanted him to kiss me, and let me see how happy he is with you and not me," she said. "But, you know what, you did show me that." Adrian replied. Because, I have a tendency to like men with more back bone, and its clear you stripped Ricky of his manhood, the day you slept together. "Oh, please Adrian you just like any man with a penis Dylan responded as she looked at Adrian angrily." __"Look, little miss Dylan Don't Do Right, you should shut the fuck p before, I put you in the hospital room next to Ben for what you did." Adrian replied back. _

_"Why should she, it seems to be true." Omar replied. "Don't you even start, Adrian said as she looked angrily at Omar. "Look, Adrian how do you expect anyone to actually, show you respect when all you do is have sex, and use people. You know, I think we should slow down, and take time to think about getting married, like you said Omar responded. "No, I don't need time to think about it, as she touched the engagement ring he had given her. "But, you can take all the time you need." Adrian said as she took off the ring and gave it back to him._

_"Oh what Adrian, now you just have to go and do your little drama." Amy said we've all seen it before. "And for your information Ricky has his manhood, it just needed to be handled by the right woman." Amy said again. "Yeah, just like Ben's did, Adrian fired back. "Well, you've handled everyone's haven't you, I mean is there anyone besides Leo and Dylan's dad that you haven't slept with, because I am pretty sure you have slept with everyone in this room haven't you" Amy said looking at her. For the first time in a very long time, not since Adrian and Ben fought in the nursery had she felt so low. And by the way Adrian, the only reason Ben, even got into any of this trouble is because you were the one who got pregnant, and ruined his life, and you didn't even have the ability to give him a child did you. _

_"This response made Leo truly upset, "GET OUT!" The Sausage King yelled. "all of you. Just get the hell out of this waiting room, I don't want to hear anymore of this teenage bullshit from any of you anymore. "Right now my son is in their fighting for his life and instead of praying for him to be okay, you are still arguing over the same bullshit that caused all of this." Leo said crying. "Amy you are the one who started all of this, not Adrian." Leo said. "You and Ricky did this when you slept together, and pulled both Adrian and Ben into this. "Amy you knew that you were pregnant the very first day he introduced himself to you, and you didn't tell my son anything, until it was too late for him to get away."__"I tried to help him, and you but no you were only using him and I saw it from the beginning, when you tried to marry him behind my back." _

_"I tested you when I gave Ricky that job, and that apartment." Leo said crying. "I wanted to see if I gave Ricky the ability to provide for you like Ben could would your feelings toward my son change," "And they did, didn't they Amy." Because once Ricky could give you the life close to the life Ben could, it was over." "Adrian has had a hard life, and yes she used my son, but she was ALWAYS, ALWAYS HONEST WITH HIM! "Were you ever really honest with him." "Were you and Ricky ever really honest with anyone." he said feeling sad for what his son was enduring._

_"Ricky, I like you, I love you almost as much as my own son, but why. Why did you have to betray my son, and put him through all of this grief, if you wanted Amy." "Why didn't you just be upfront with her, Adrian, and Ben from the beginning. If you had maybe, my son, and Adrian would never have had to sleep together the way they did, or get pregnant the way they did. Or get married, and lose their child, my grand daughter the way they did. Leo said looking at both Ricky and Amy who felt ashamed of their actions toward both Ben and Adrian._

_Adrian, if you cared for Ben at all why did you have to hurt him." Leo said now turning his attention to her. "Why did you sleep with him if you never really wanted him. He would have been alright just being your friend and sharing custody with you." "You didn't need to make him fall in love with you only to break his heart like Amy did." "He, does love you Adrian, but he was in pain, and I can honestly say Ben was happy when he was with you." Leo said making the young girl feel even more ashamed of herself for all of her actions at this point. "Henry, Alice you were suppose to be his friends, and you betrayed him in the worst way._

_"Henry that was his wife, and you were the one who chose to break up with Alice just to satisfy your curiosity about sex with other women." Leo said feeling ashamed of Henry and making Henry feel even more ashamed of himself." "Alice I know you were hurt as well, and so was Ben, but did you have to make it even worse for both you and Ben. You guys have known each other for years, so why did you choose to hurt one another so badly?" Leo asked. Didn't you learn anything from Ben's mistakes. Why would you sleep with him, Alice? "You know you don't see Ben like that, if you did then you would have told him long ago. "Didn't the two of you think he had been through, enough. He was your friend I expected the three of you to look out for each other not hurt, and use one another like enemies." Leo said crying._

_"Dylan, why my son? he said now becoming even more angry. "Why did you think bringing drugs into my home would help him? "Hey, my daughter is not responsible for that" Dylan's dad tried to speak up for her. "NO, DADDY DON'T." she said looking at him. "He's right we were the one's who introduced the pot to Ben. Daddy, "My friends and I have been smoking ever since, Daniel and Omar let us smoke some with them two years ago, she said."WHAT!" her dad replied. "Omar, is this true, he asked with everyone looking at him sternly._

_"Unfortunately yes it is" Omar responded sadly holding his engagement ring and looking at Adrian. "I got some reefer from the evidence my dad collected and I sold it to some people he said. "It was only to help pay for a few bills my brother and I had he said trying to excuse his actions."It was wrong, I know." he said apologetically. "Yes, and it is also against the law Reuben said, as he came into the room and took Omar by the arm. But, Mr. Enriqeuz I'm sorry it was just a mistake. "Omar protested."No Omar it's a felony, and I'm glad my daughter found out before she married you. "Ben may do a lot of stupid things, but he has always owned up to his mistakes, and he never, tried to do something like this to people.  
_

_"Dylan what else have you been hiding from me," her father asked. "I was the one who convinced Ben to go into the school that night." she confessed. "I thought if I gave him a tour of the school and explained how state of the art our school was to his, since we have both heat and air conditioning, and a top notch science lab, since Ben was interested in computer engineering, he would really try and convince his dad to let him transfer." she answered back. "So the fire?" he asked. "I don't know if the school lines were too close, but Ben wasn't the one who lit the bunsen burner, he didn't even know I had planned on making smores until I lit one, and gave him the marshmallows." "So all of this time I have been thinking, Ben is a bad influence on you, and you were the bad influence on him."Yes," she replied apologetically. _

_"Also", Ethan spoke up. "The reason why Ben was driving down the highway so fast was because he accidentally walked in on Dylan and I having sex."It was my fault, Dylan and I became friends, and I was mad at Kathy, and she was mad at Ben for something she saw on Ben's computer. "We were both angry, and then one thing led to another." he explained. "SO YOU TOOK MY DAUGHTERS VIRGINITY", her dad yelled. "NO, DADDY" that is not his fault. I haven't been a virgin for a long time actually she said. "What, do you mean Dylan her father said becoming more angry._

_"Mercedes, remember that time we went to the lake with Omar, Daniel, and Dante." Dylan said looking at her friend. "Yeah, Mercedes said along side Wendy, and Sydney. "Yeah", they all said in unison. "Well after we were all done swimming when Dante, and I left you guys to go and get the food, we ended up taking a detour, and he and I stopped beside this pool and went skinny dipping. "I don't know if it was the pot, or the fact that he was so cute, but one thing led to another and... "You slept with Dante?" They all asked in unison. ...Yes, Dylan said with shame.  
_

_Her father looked at Dylan in disbelief, and shook his head. He then turned to Leo and extended his hand to him. "Leo, I am sorry for what I have said about your son, and my actions." "I am exceptionally sorry for what he is going through now, and I wish I would have gotten to know your son better, before I prejudged him from what I understand now he has a very great spirit like you." he said looking ashamed of himself. "I and my friends are sorry to Mr. Boykewich we should have tried to be Ben's friend's when we met him, but instead we took advantage of him like everyone else. Leo took his hand and shook it still saddened that his son's life had to be hanging in the balance before he and all of those who knew him could realize, they were responsible for the condition Ben was in now.  
_

_"Leo, you should sit down, and calm yourself," Camille said taking Leo by his shoulders and leading him back to his seat. "Is there anything you need? Chloe asked as she stood up. "I can go to the vending machines, the cafeteria, or across the street she said worried about her foster dad. "No, I'm fine." Leo said as he took a seat and wiped the tears from his face. "You know who I blame most of all for Ben's troubles he said looking at his wife and daughter. "Let, me guess yourself." Camille said looking at him with a kind gesture. "Yes, I do" Leo said looking at her with guilt in his eyes.  
_

_"Ben, was my son and I should have taught him about love, and women, and all of that and more. But, I didn't, I tried to compare his relationship with Amy, to my relationship with his mother." "I didn't try and realize that Sarah, and I had no other person was involved. That was never the case with Ben and Amy. If, I had taken time and analyzed the situation I would have realized Ben wasn't ready for such a large commitment, and Amy didn't really want him." "I should have told him from the beginning when I first started having my suspicions about Amy to tell them to Ben, instead I went behind his back and used Ricky to do it." "Instead of making the situation better, I made it worse because I had Ben competing against Ricky for Amy, John, Adrian, and even ME!" "I love my son, and I admire Ricky, but I should have never given Ben the impression that I put Ricky higher than him. I should have told him what I really thought of Amy, and his situation with Adrian._

_"When they lost the baby I saw that Ben was hurting but I kept telling him to think about trying to help Adrian, and try to fix his marriage, I never thought about how he was dealing with it. I never knew what he was feeling, until now. To feel powerless to help you child when they need you the most and be able to do NOTHING TO SAVE THEM!" "Ben was only seventeen years old when he first held his child in his arms and she was dead. I have no idea how that must have made him feel. To have sacrificed and suffered so much and loose the person you did all of that for." "I told him the day he got married that if he wanted to run and not marry Adrian that he would just have to give me the signal and it would be done, but when I saw the way he looked at Adrian when she came out, I knew he would never run from her."_

_"I was ashamed at how he acted when Adrian was depressed after losing Mercy, and I kept telling him to man up, and be there for her, she's your wife. But, now I truly understand what he was dealing with, and I don't know how he was able to deal with it as long as he did, Camille." "I'm his father, I'm older and I have had to deal with losing his mother, and my grand-daughter, and the only reason I was able to survive any of that was because I am older, and I had you, and Betty for support." "Ben, was still a kid, and I don't know how he managed to stay strong as long as he did." Leo said still crying._

_"He was able to do it, because he knew I needed him", Adrian responded. "He, would put aside his own pain each and everyday because he knew I needed his strength. "He would get up everyday and take care of me, while I just wallowed in self pity, after Mercy died. Ben would cook, clean, and he would even have to force me to shower, and change clothes." "Every night he would lie in bed next to me and refuse to sleep, until he knew I was asleep, and each morning he would make sure he woke up ahead of me to do it all over again." "He truly is a remarkable man, Leo and I'm sorry he tried to turn a whore into a housewife Adrian said as turned to leave. "Adrian don't say that about yourself," Leo said. "Its' the truth Leo, I was the school slut that got pregnant by the rich kid, and took advantage of him." "I really did love him, Mr. Boykewich, I'm sorry that I didn't love him enough, and I'm really sorry I hurt him." Adrian then turned and left.  
_

_Ricky and Amy then came up to Leo, and looked at him apologetically. "Leo, we're sorry for what we did as well." Ricky said looking at Leo truly and honestly sorry for all of his actions. "Ben, was a good man, and a great friend. I took advantage of his friendship, because I guess I was jealous of him, Ricky said. I hated how he was able to love people, and see the best in them even me without any regard for himself. I also hated that he got to have a great father like you, and in a way I tried to take it from him." "I would see how Amy, and Adrian would look at Ben, and hate how he could make them feel so safe, and protected while all I could do was hurt them. _

_"When Ben and I became friends I modeled myself after him, and I started to take it all from him. "I always thought that I had changed, but I didn't I just transferred all my anger and aggression to him. Because I envied the fact that I owed Ben. I owed him for being there for Amy, when she needed someone to help her. I owed him for healing the scars that I gave to both Amy, and Adrian. I owed him for helping me heal the scars that my dad, and I had put there. I owed him for introducing me to you. But, most of all I hated him because I owed my son's life to him. And there is not a day that goes by that I don't ask myself if Ben would be a better father to John than me. Amy and I are truly sorry for our actions Mr. Boykewich and if there is anything either of us can do please let us know. Ricky said finally speaking up and taking responsibility for his past sins. _

_ "I am sorry too Leo. Truly sorry for how I ruined his life, but I really did appreciate him, and all of his sacrifices for me," "And I am truly sorry for what happened to his daughter, and what has happened to him". Amy said crying for her own part in Ben's pain. "Thank you both for your apologies, Cloe said but, I think the one who really needs to be hearing them are Ben and Adrian, and if you truly are sorry she said shedding tears of her own. Pray for my brother. Chloe then got up and went to the church chapel to pray for her older brother who although she had only known for a short time, had become a very intricate part of her life, and accepted her as his kid sister almost immediately.  
_

_As Chloe began to pray Grace, Jack, Leo, Camille, Henry, Alice, Amy, Ricky, Dylan, Dylan's Dad, Mercedes, Julie, Wendy, Ethan, Reuben, and Cindy all entered the church next to her and held hands and began to pray for Ben's life. "Where is Adrian?" Cindy asked as she stood next to her husband. "I think she wanted to be alone for a little while." Rueben said. As he said this Adrian got off the elevator at the top floor of the hospital and headed towards a door that read "ROOF EXIT". She stepped through the door which seemed unguarded and went into the cold air of the night sky and overlooked the skyline of the city. She then walked towards the edge and looked down at the city below.  
_

**TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE READ MY STORY AND ENJOYED IT I THANK YOU AND THE FINAL CHAPTER WILL BE UPDATED LATER TODAY. IT WOULD BE GOOD TO HAVE THE SONG "YOU FOUND ME" BY "THE FRAY" AS YOU READ. EVEN THOUGH THE CHARACTERS BEN AND ADRIAN ARE NO LONGER TOGETHER I WILL CONTINUE TO HAVE HOPE THAT THEY WILL REUNITE HOPEFULLY BEFORE THE SHOW ENDS.**


	5. YOU FOUND ME WITH FAITH

**_YOU FOUND ME WITH YOUR FAITH IN ME_**

**_Sorry for not updating when I promised, but I was called in to work in order to work on a robbery case. Please accept my apologies, and I hope you enjoy the final part of the story. I was asked to make more of the story to close it out, but I think it is okay the way it is. Let me know if I should add a last chapter. I will also be finishing up "My Biggest Mistake"soon to all those who read it and subscribe the next chapter will be up hopefully by Friday if all goes well. But we all know the best laid plans of mice and men the show is living proof of that._**

_Adrian looked out on the night sky and let her body feel the cold breeze of the night sky and began to sink into the despair she had been holding inside herself for so long. Even though she was engaged to Omar, she never wanted to admit she didn't love him. She thought because he appeared to be a nice guy, and the sex was good that if they had a child she could be happy, but now she knew she was lying to herself. She thought that if she could get Ricky back it would stop her from feeling what she had put aside in Dr. Otavi's office, her love for Ben.  
_

_She knew it was wrong, but he didn't want her anymore, and Dr. Otavi was right she and Ben were only together because they made the best of a bad situation. Or at least that is what she would tell herself and force herself to believe. But that is not what made her sleep with Ben that night in the car, nor was it just for revenge. It was also not that, or revenge that made her say yes to Ben when he proposed, nor was it his money, or the fact she was carrying his child. She was in love with the man, Ben was, and would one day become. The reason why she chose to keep her baby in the first place was because of him. She could not deny a child with someone she so cared for and admired to die simply because of her selfish desires._

_She could also not deny when ever she thought of Ben it was always of kindness, and love. He was the one person who she trusted above all others, and the one person who always saw the best in her. Even when they argued over the nursery she knew it was only out of anger, and the fact that he humiliated himself was proof of that, Ben was always one who let his guilt get the best of him, it was one of the many things that made her admire him now she might lose him forever. "_

_She hated herself for not approaching Ben all those years ago when she saw him looking at her from across the hall, but she let herself be captivated by a pretty face as always when Ricky approached her. Ben was the first and only geek Adrian actually held interest in. She may have slept with Henry, but that was the worst mistake she had ever made, and it disgusted her every time she thought about it, and how she hurt Ben. All because of a kiss she needed to have from a man that never loved her or respected her, Adrian doubted if Ricky cared for her at all. _

_Whenever she needed him Ricky was never there even though she was always there for him. But whenever she needed someone only Ben Boykewich was there for her, no matter what the situation. "Why did I have to fall for the wrong guy before I fell for the right one?", she asked herself as she stepped closely to the edge of the building. "Why did I have to lose you, Mercy? She asked. "I would have made you a great mom, and I promise I would have been a great wife to Ben if you had lived. I would have built my world around the both of you, I guess that's why I fell apart when I lost you._

"_Now, I'm losing him too." GOD WHY!" she screamed a she stepped on the ledge. "I have never asked you for anything, and you have always taken from me. You gave me Antonio only to take him away. You gave me Mercy, only to take her away. You gave me Ben,... And now you're taking him from me too..." she yelled. "I gave him up so you wouldn't have to take him from me, and now you still want to take him. Did I piss you off that much." she said to the wind. "Well if you take him, then I'll give you me she said. I'll have my family one way or another..." she whispered to herself.  
_

**BEN'S POINT OF VIEW. (STANDING BESIDE MARSHALL BOWMAN ON A CLIFF)**

Dr. Bowman, what the hell is she doing!" Ben yelled as he saw Adrian standing too close to the edge of the building. "You're not the only one who was feeling pain Ben?" Marshall Bowman said. "Adrian is in just as much pain as you are, she just hides it a lot better than you." he said looking at the young man. "But, she has it all, she was with Omar, and they were engaged..." Ben stammered.

"Ben, just because Adrian was going to marry Omar, doesn't mean she loved him. Adrian latched on to Omar the same way you latched on too Dylan. She didn't know how to hold on to you and you didn't know how to hold on to her, so you both did what you thought was best and let go. But, when two people really love each other and they are in pain because it hurts to be together, that is when they should hold to one another the tightest. You and Adrian are young, and ignorant of love, and you don't know that.

"But Dr. Bowman she is going to kill herself," Ben yelled I have to help her he, tell me how to go to her!, he said. "Ben if you go now you might be the one who dies" Dr. Bowman insisted. "This is a leap of faith Ben, and if you try to save Adrian you risk dying yourself, and I have to tell you dying is not something you can adapt to. I know this for a fact." he said trying to dissuade the young man. Dr. Bowman I don't care!" he yelled. "Adrian needs me, and I promised her that I would ALWAYS, ALWAYS BE THERE FOR HER NO MATTER WHAT, and this is WHAT." he said with true conviction in his voice.

"Ben, are you sure about this? If you do this the implications on you could be disastrous." Dr. Bowman informed him. "If you go you might, save Adrian and Damn yourself. Are your really ready to risk all of that on her?" he questioned. "This is a LEAP OF FAITH, Ben. But doubt, confusion, anger., guilt and hatred are also in the mix. If you leap from this cliff you will need your faith to pull you up, but if you have any of those feelings, they will pull you down into the ocean, and if you drown you die. Ben, do you have that faith in yourself to make such a leap? Dr. Bowman questioned.

"Dr. Bowman" Ben said looking at him finally as a man. "You told me that this was a leap of faith right. Well I don't have faith in myself. I don't have faith in love. I don't have faith in people, or even in God. But I do have faith in Adrian, and I won't let her take her life." he said with such feeling, and conviction Marshall Bowman could not believe that Ben was still the same man who didn't want to jump only a moment ago.

"But Ben, what about, your family, friends, and Amy." Dr. Bowman still questioned. "My dad has Camille and he has Chloe, and he even has Ricky. Amy has John and Ricky. My friends have each other. All Adrian has ever really been able to count on is me, and I owe it to her, my daughter, and myself to help her." he said with passion. " But, why Ben is she truly that important to you, to risk your own life?" Dr. Bowman asked.

"I didn't realize until now, but without her, there is no life." Ben said. When I was with Adrian I realized I could live without Amy, and John, my friends, and even my Dad. But even when we broke up, I realized I can't live without her. So even if I did survive, I would still come back to this place, because she would be here." he said finally realizing it was not Amy, Dylan, or someone else he wanted but Adrian. He realized that four years ago when he saw her leaning against her locker talking to Ricky, that she was the one he wanted.

"If that is how you truly feel Ben, then I won't stop you. I only wish I would have been able to come to your realization along time ago," he said before stepping out of Ben;s way as he stepped to the edge of the cliff. "But Ben before you go do me a favor tell my Goldilocks, I'm sorry I turned out to be the "Big Bad Wolf" who ate the knight in shining armor and took his place. Make sure you tell her exactly like that, she will know it came from me." he said. "I will Dr. Bowman, and thank you for all your help" Ben told him as he looked down at the large jump that lay before him as the waves crashed against the rocks of the cliff. "Thank you Ben for yours, said Dr. Bowman as he was surrounded by a cloud of white light.

As Ben looked down at the waves he thought of Adrian looking down at the ground beneath the hospital and he jumped. He glided for only a moment before he began to fall and felt the cold sharp icy water on his body. He could feel the sharp waves crash against his face, then fill his mouth, and lungs. As he felt this he looked and said "God, don't let me die like this please let me save her. It was then that a young latino boy appeared and reached his hand out to Ben. Ben quickly grabbed his hand and was pulled free of the waters cold grip. "Who are you, and why are you helping me?" Ben asked. "We have someone in common, and we both want the same thing. I can't help her but you can", he replied.

"You're Antonio aren't you? Ben questioned. "SI, now you need to go to Adrian you can't fly but I can, and I will give you a lift. Ben felt the young man's hand around his wrist as they glided into the air. He was lifted from the place where he was which seemed to be an island trapped within the sea of the clouds. As he looked down the island disappeared and he found himself hovering over the earth, then he was over America, and flying over the sea toward Glenn Valley, and then over the hospital as he saw a crying Adrian at the edge of the hospital roof. "Now, do what I cannot Amigo, Antonio said he set Ben gently on the roof. Save her, and love her." before he disappeared

Adrian steps to the ledge and is about to jump when Ben grabs her from behind. Shocking her as she turns to see him standing behind her, after only seeing him hours before barely clinging to life when he was brought in on a gurney.

_**I found God on the corner of First in Amistad**_  
**_Where the west was all but one._**  
**_All alone,_**  
**_Smoking his last cigarette,_**  
**_I said "where you been?"_**  
**_He said, "ask anything_"**

"Ben, what, how are you here, you should be in the hospital." Adrian stammers as she stares at him in bewilderment. "I am in the hospital, but I needed to make sure you were alright first.

**_I found God on the corner of First in Amistad_**  
**_Where the west was all but one._**  
**_All alone,_**  
**_Smoking his last cigarette,_**  
**_I said "where you been?"_**  
**_He said, "ask anything"_**

"Are you alright Adrian? he asked. "No, I'm not. I have made a mess of my life and yours and everyone else's and it would be better if I just end it al."l she whimpers.

**_Where were you_**  
**_When everything was falling apart?_**  
**_All my days,_**  
**_Spent by the telephone._**  
**_That never rang_**  
**_And all I needed was a call_**  
**_That never came_**  
_**From the corner of First and Amistad**_

**"**And here it was I thought you were going to do this to be close to me," he says with a grin. "I was Ben, but you are here and you are all right, so just let me go." she pleads.

[**Chorus]**  
**_Lost and insecure,_**  
**_You found me, you found me_**  
**_Lying on the floor,_**  
**_Surrounded, surrounded_**  
**_Why'd you have to wait?_**  
**_Where were you? Where were you?_**  
**_Just a little late_**  
**_You found me, you found me  
_**  
"Sorry, I can't do that because I made a very big sacrifice because I can't let you go Adrian. You are one of the only people in this world, that no matter how hard I try I can never let you go." he said looking at her and with a tear falling.

**_In the end,_**  
**_Everyone ends up alone_**  
**_Losing her,_**  
**_The only one who's ever known_**  
**_Who I am, who I'm not,and who I wanna be_**  
**_No way to know_**  
**_How long she will be next to me  
_**  
"I have been apart of you since the day I laid eyes on you when I was fifteen and saw you staring at Ricky. I let myself be infatuated with Amy because I never thought I could have you. Don't you realize that it wasn't just revenge that made me sleep with you that night, and when I said I love you I meant it. I just never knew how much." Ben said staring at her.  
_  
**[Chorus]**_  
_**Early morning,**_  
_**City breaks**_  
_**I've been calling**_  
_**For years and years and years and years**_  
_**And you never left me no messages**_  
_**You never send me no letters**_  
_**You got some kind of nerve**_  
**_Taking all our_ love.  
**

"Ben, I'm no good for you all I have ever done is mess things up for you, Amy, Ricky, and even Mercy. she replied. "Adrian we messed ourselves up, when we lost Mercy. When she died it hurt so much to see you in pain and it reminded me of how I weak I was, and how I couldn't save her, he said. "Our daughter would have looked exactly like you, and I know because I have seen her." he replied. "You saw her," Adrian said in shock. "Yes, and she is every bit as beautiful, and kind as we thought she would be." Ben said as his eyes swelled remembering his little girl.

**_Lost and insecure,_**  
_**You found me, you found me**_  
_**Lying on the floor,**_  
_**Where were you? Where were you?  
**_

"But Ben, I broke your heart, and hurt you by getting rid of the nursery, ending our marriage because of my infatuation with Ricky, and sleeping with your best friend." Adrian yelled. "Adrian you healed my heart, and you had every right to break it for what I said to you in the nursery. I was your husband it was my job to have faith in our love, but I lost it because, I blamed myself, I blamed you, I blamed all of our mistakes on that night. But the truth is we didn't sleep together that night because Ricky and Amy kissed. We slept togehter because we wanted each other." I have never been able to talk to, or feel about anyone the way I have with you." "And no matter how hard I try to fight it, or forget it you are the only person in this world I can never be without" he said.

_**[Chorus]**_

_**Why'd you have to wait,**_  
_**To find me?**_  
_**To find me?  
**_

"But Ben, how can we come back to one another after all we have been through, she asked and her hand tightened around his wrist. "By having faith, and hope. By remembering that our daughter was concieved for a reason, and that reason just wasn't because of a broken condom, and faulty birth control. That reason was we mean more to each other than either of us have ever let ourselves feel. And we need to stop feeling guilty about betraying two people who never meant as much us, or we meant to them, as we mean to each other." he said pulling her towards the roof.

_**Where were you**_  
_**When everything was falling apart?**_  
_**All my days,**_  
_**Spent by the telephone.**_  
_**That never rang**_  
_**And all I needed was a call**_  
_**That never came**_  
_**From the corner of First and Amistad  
**_

"How do I know that you are not just saying this so, I won't jump?" Adrian asked. "By having as much faith in me not to jump, as I had to have in you to jump and be here with you." Ben replied. "I love you Adrian, and I have literally given up heaven for you. I would never do that for Amy, my family, or even myself, but I did do it for you. Ben said as he pulled Adrian to him firmly planting her feet on the roof of the building and embracing her.

_**[Chorus]**_  
_**Lost and insecure,**_  
_**You found me, you found me**_  
_**Lying on the floor,**_  
_**Surrounded, surrounded**_  
_**Why'd you have to wait?**_  
_**Where were you? Where were you?**_  
_**Just a little late**_  
_**You found me, you found**_** me  
**

Adrian felt Ben against her and leaned her ear against his chest and was shocked she could not hear the strong heart that beat beneath it. Ben I can't hear your heartbeat she yelled. "I think you have to have a body to have a heartbeat, and I am all spirit. he said grinning. "How are you here with me like this Ben Boykewich, she said staring up at him. "Because I said I would always be there for you no matter what, and this is WHAT", he said as he kissed her.

_**In the end,**_  
_**Everyone ends up alone**_  
_**Losing her,**_  
_**The only one who's ever known**_  
_**Who I am, who I'm not,and who I wanna be**_  
_**No way to know**_  
_**How long she will be next to me**_

Adrian felt his warmly, and accepted it, then as she opened her eyes she found herself alone on the roof, embracing only the wind as Ricky touched her shoulder. "Adrian are you okay? he asked. "We got worried when you didn't come to the chapel to pray, and your parents' asked me to find you. "Yeah, I'm okay Ricky, she said looking at him and remembering what had just happened. She knew it had to be real, because she never felt so confident or loved in all her life than she did at that moment.

"Adrian before we go back in. Ricky said as Amy joined them. We want to apologize for all that has happened between you, us, and Ben. "Amy and I pulled you and Ben into the drama that we started at Band Camp, and instead of competing against you, and using the both of you. We should have just been honest with you, and tried to be friends. But, I guess I was jealous of the relationship Ben had with you because he was the one thing with you he could never be with me" Amy said. "What" Adrian said confused. "He was happy, Adrian, and he told me. And in all the time we were together, he never once said that to me. Amy said crying.

"And Adrian I'm sorry for how I treated you, and took advantage of my relationship with you, and my friendship with Ben." Ricky chimed in. "And I am truly sorry for how I just avoided you when you lost your daughter." "You were always there for me when I needed you, and even more when I had John, but I'm weaker than Ben, I guess. Ricky replied "I didn't have the courage to see you broken when your daughter died. Because I didn't know how to fix you. "I'm used to breaking things, not fixing them, that's Ben's job, and I should have been there for both of you because Amy, and I both owe the changes we have made, and the family we have to you and Ben", he said crying.

"And I'm sorry Adrian, for just letting you, and he suffer like that, when I knew that you both loved each other. "I guess I was like Amy, and I resented Ben were making you happy, when I ony made you sad. But I promise I never wanted you two to break up, and I never, ever wanted your daughte to die, or for Ben to, too... be in the condition he is now. Amy then took him into her arms as her fiancee cried for his best friend. "Don't worry Ricky, Adrian said rubbing his back, my Benni isn't going anywhere." she said.

Adrian, Amy, and Ricky then all walked back into the hospital where Leo, informed them that Ben was now out of surgery but had lost a lot of blood. He also suffered from a collapsed lung, and two broken ribs, and a fractured shoulder. Those injuries were superficial compared to the concussion he recieved when his head hit the steering wheel. Dr. Shakur Ricky's dad assured Leo he would monitor Ben's situation, but unless Ben woke up within the next twelve hours he was worried, Ben would slip into a coma and suffer brain loss.

Everyone was taking turns visiting him, including Dylan, and her friends who all apologized for their part in Ben's experiment with marjuana. Her father apologizd personally to Ben as he lay unconscious on his bed. Dylan kissed him on his head and said. "I'm sorry Ben for what I did to you, I should have never tried to date, you. You were not ready to be with anyone, especially when we both know that you still love your wife.

As Adrian was going toward Ben's room, she was stopped by Ethan who pulled her aside. "Adrian you should know the reason, Dylan was so upset with Ben was because she found his computer and opened his journal. Adrian, Ben has nothing on his mind or on his computer, but how he regrets losing you and not being able to save your marriage." "He even wrote that he was using Dylan, and his feelings for Amy as a way to distract himself from what he really felt." "It's weird, Ben loves you so much he was actually willing to ruin his own life, to make sure you were happy with Omar." he said confused.

"What is it?" Adrian asked Ethan as he look bewildered by Ben. "How can Ben, love you so much he is willing to do all that?" he asked her and himself. "I thought that I loved Cathy, but I couldn't even stay faithful to her when she went to see her old boyfriend, but he was willing to let you marry another guy even though it was killing him inside. Why would he do that?" he asked. "Because Ben is selfless, and he doesn't want to hurt others, when hurting himself is so much easier, she said with a tear.

"Adrian if you want to come in and see him, its okay." Leo said as he stepped from Ben's bedside with tears streaming from his face. Camille was in the same state along side Chloe, as they left Ben's side. "I would really enjoy that Mr. Boykewich Adrian said as she approached his room. "Are you sure you're ready to see him like that _meha," _Reuben said as he rubbed Adrian's back. "Its' okay I Dad, I need to do this, and Ben needs me to do this too. Adrian approached Ben's bed, and saw him with his head bandaged his arm in a sling above his beds, and an entire bandage around his chest.

Ben watched her from the side of his bed, it was strange to him watching himself like this, and seeing how important he was to his friends and family. Alice and Henry were by his bedside as Adrian approached, and both were apologizing to him for their actions. "Ben I'm so sorry for what I did." Henry cried I should have never slept with Adrian or broken up with Alice. I should have been your friend, and realized that you were still hurting from losing Mercy. "I promise Ben, if you wake up I will spend my life trying to make it up to you. "And if you want Alice I give up all claim to both of you. Just please wake up." he cried

"Henry, stop being stupid", Alice replied also crying. "Ben knows he doesn't see me like that he just slept with me, to get back at you and Adrian." "We both know that he loves Adrian, he wore his wedding ring for weeks after he moved out", she said looking at her friend lying broken and motionless in bed with the heart monitor beeping in a silent, and steady tone. As they both made their apologies to a seemingly lifeless Ben, Adrian made her way toward them, and said don't worry he is sorry and so am I for all that has happened between us.

Adrian was then left alone by everyone to privately talk to Ben, and if necessary make peace with her ex-husband. "Benny, why are you pretending to be asleep when you know you can hear everything that is happening." she said rubbing her hand gently across his bruised cheek. "I know that you saved me on the roof, because you are always there when I need you Ben, now tell me how I can be there for you now that you need me?" she said sitting on his bedside.

As she did this she remembered the story of sleeping beauty, and the story about how a kiss woke the princess from a deep sleep, she wondered could it be that simple. Her and Ben's life, and their relationship was definitely no fairy tale. Even though Ben was a prince she had to admit she was no princess, but one thing she knew there was magic in every kiss she shared with Ben. It was what brought them together, and made them fall in love with one another. "Benny, we both know I don't believe in fairy tales." she said. "But I do believe in what I feel for you she said. Adrian leaned in and kissed Ben gently and lovingly on the lips.

It was in that moment that Ben himself was watching the events unfold and was then bathed in a pool of white light. As the light surrounded him he saw his daughter, his mom, Dr. Bowman, and Antonio looking at him. "Than you," he said as they all disappeared from his sight. Adrian looked down as Ben's eyes slowly opened and she heard th words "thank you" whisper from his lips. "I should thank you Ben, for always being there for me." she said as she leaned her head against his. "Thank you for finding me", he said barely able to speak as the pain from his injuries weakened him. "We will always find each other Benni, Adrian said as the nurse and Dr. Shakur came into the room, after being alerted by the monitors.

**[CHORUS]**

_**Early morning,**_  
_**City breaks**_  
_**I've been calling**_  
_**For years and years and years and years**_  
_**And you never left me no messages**_  
_**You never send me no letters**_  
_**You got some kind of nerve**_  
_**Taking all our love.**_

_**Lost and insecure,**_  
_**You found me, you found me**_  
_**Lying on the floor,**_  
_**Where were you? Where were you?**_

_**[Chorus]**_

_**Why'd you have to wait,**_  
_**To find me?**_  
_**To find me?**_


	6. SKY FULL OF LIGHTERS

Ben's recovery was long and hard, his injuries were all serious specifically the back injury he sustained when the car flipped. However Leo was happy when his toxicology report came back clean, meaning Ben's accident was just an accident and he was not on drugs or alcohol. Even though Ben was not in trouble with the law, he was in trouble with Leo for nearly getting himself killed over Dylan's betrayal. Ben was not the only one who had to face the consequences of their actions however.

Dylan's father was so angry at not just Dylan, but her friends as well and forbid them to see one another unless they all entered a drug rehab program for one year. Their parent's also separated them in schools. Wendy was allowed to be in the same school with Raven, while Dylan went to school with Cindy. Each, were also monitored when they spent time together outside of school when their year was up. The worst part neither was allowed to date for one year, the boy had to be approved by their parents, and neither was allowed to attend any unsupervised parties.

Dylan's parent's were not only ashamed of her actions when it came to her relationship with Ben, but their own as well. Ben was a nice, decent, young man that had already been through a lot and instead of helping him deal with his troubles while they dated she added to them. They were very disappointed in themselves and her for Dylan's use in marijuana, but also for how she was the one who introduced such a dangerous activity to Ben. Worst of all they were furious that Dylan allowed Ben to take the fall for all of her stupid actions with the marijuana and the school fire. They were so upset and guilty over Dylan's behavior and their own the Boykewich family received a lifetime half off discount from her mom's bakery, and her father gave Leo a very good deal on a security plan he had installed in a few of his butcher shops.

The situation between Adrian and Omar however was even more complicated. Because of his actions his father was placed on suspension and had internal affairs investigation conducted. Although his father's charges were dropped, his reputation could not recover. His mother also suffered from his actions because not many members of her congregation approved of how Omar deceived them all. His parent's were so embarrassed by what their son had done they retired and moved to a new state.

Omar however was fired from his job, and his teaching license was suspended for seven years. Because he plead guilty to all charges and marijuana is a legal drug in California, Omar was only brought up on felony misdemeanor charges for illegal distribution. He was forced to spend 750 hours in community service. This served him well since he decided that he was still going to do what he set out to do and help kids. He entered into a program to become a juvenile monitor which tutored at risk kids who were being held by the state until they became legal adults, or served their time.

Omar tried constantly to regain his relationship with Adrian, begging for a second chance. Adrian didn't want to hear it, because she remembered that is how she once did him after the party. But, he lied to her and was judgmental of her actions from a kiss when he sold marijuana to minor's. Not only that Adrian had to admit to herself she was glad to be rid of her relationship with Omar, although she liked him at first and cared about him she never really saw a life with him, or really could love him. In a way she believed she was only with Omar because she was still vulnerable from the loss of her daughter, and the break up of her marriage to Ben. She decided the best thing for her to do was get help through grief counseling to help her deal with all that happened.

Strangely enough Ben's accident actually caused the pimp who assaulted Jack to get caught. He was hiding out and using a friends' car to travel when he ran into a road block that was set up because of the accident. When the police stopped him, he was unable to produce identification. Feeling as though he was cornered, he tried to run. But not knowing about the accident ran over broken pieces of Ben's car, and he too was involved in an accident. He survived with minor cuts and bruises. After his capture, and thanks to the testimony of Chloe, and Jack he received 20 consecutive years for the coercion of a minor, the solicitation of a minor. He tried to plea bargain, but he had nothing to trade and was sentenced to fifty years in prison, for assault with a deadly weapon for his attack on Jack.

Jack was happy when he felt himself have to pee after drinking a big gulp. After that incident and extensive spinal surgery, as well as painful physical therapy he was able to recover the use of his legs. He was also able to keep his scholarship by becoming a trainer until he could fully recover. While returning to school he decided to choose the major of athletics, and studied to become a physical therapist or an athletic trainer.

Even though his recovery was hard and painful, Jack was happy to have Ben as company. Ben and he both suffered from spinal injuries and shared the same physical therapist. Their therapist named Josh refused to let either man give up on their treatment, and with the two of them as friends both served as cheer leaders to the other, and inspired their friend to keep going through the pain. Even though Ben was not very athletic he proved himself quite competitive with Jack who would make bets against Ben to see who would complete what task first. Since Ben's injuries were not that serious but he was smaller Jack took it as a challenge to either heal before Ben or at the same time. This helped both young men recover very quickly.

What Josh really believed helped them recover were the two lovely young ladies who would come to their therapy sessions with them. Josh recognized Grace who was often around the hospital talking to the nurses and doctors about the types of student programs they had available for her, but the young and sexy Hispanic beauty was different when Adrian would stop by to check in on Ben and his recovery almost every day. Adrian was so worried about Ben she actually rearranged her classes with other people to make sure she would be by his side during his sessions. This is what he primarily believed helped Ben to recover even faster as a way to prove something to himself, and to Adrian.

In time Ben was able to walk with the use of cane, and Jack although on crutches for the damage done to his knee was right behind him in the recovery. Ricky would stop by the hospital to visit them both, he seemed to have something on his mind as he saw how both his friends were bonding and making strides to overcome their injuries. When Amy asked why he looked so down considering both, Ben and Jack were doing so well he confessed he was jealous that he was not injured so he could bond with them. When Amy told this to both of them, Ben said he would happily hit him with a car, and Jack said if he truly meant it he would beat him with a bat as much as he needed. Ricky smiled and apologized for his rude attitude at their predicaments. Ben and Jack simply looked at one another and said they weren't kidding and chased after him with their crutches, and cane.

One day as prom neared Ricky showed up at Ben's house and asked to speak with him, as he entered the room he noticed Ben sitting in his chair staring at a picture. Ben looked to be lost in his own world, Ricky saw this and knocked to gain his attention, this jolted Ben from his fantasy and he quickly put the picture away. "So what was that? Ricky asked trying to figure what caused Ben to be so transfixed. "Nothing I was just lost in thought," Ben said as he turned in his chair to face him. "So what are you doing here, aren't you and Amy supposed to be getting ready for the wedding?" Ben asked.

"Yeah, I know its why I stopped by, I need to talk to you." Ricky said sitting down on his bed and staring at Ben directly. This caused Ben to wonder what was happening because Ricky looked as though he was losing his composure. "Ben I need to apologize to you," Ricky said as he faced him. Apologize for what exactly" Ben asked curiously? "For ruining your life," Ricky said as he let out a breath of air and looked at Ben with a guilty face. "What do you mean by that Ricky?" Ben asked already knowing the answer. "Ben, don't act like this, its already hard enough to apologize to you without you trying to revel in it" Ricky said becoming stern. "Ricky, did you actually think I wouldn't make this difficult on you? You should know better than that," Ben said with a serious look.

"I know, but I hoped that you would," he said looking ashamed. "Ben I'm sorry for putting all of this stress on you by dealing with Amy, and her pregnancy even though it was my responsibility." "I was the one who got Amy pregnant, and it was suppose to be me who was by her side, not you. I had feelings for Amy then Ben I really did, but I was not used to having feelings like that for anyone, and it scared me." Ricky admitted. "When I saw she was with you and that she was pregnant, you being rich, and a decent guy with a great family, I figured she was better off with you than me." "If that was true Ricky, why did you keep interfering in our relationship," Ben asked. "Anger, jealousy, guilt, envy you name it I felt it," he said. "But mainly it was because I couldn't live with the fact that my kid would be calling another man Daddy, and not me, Ben. If that would have happened, of all the bad things I have done for that to happen, it would make me worse than my own father." Ricky said.

"My dad was a monster Ben, he beat me, my mom, and he raped us both, but he owned up to us." he said getting ready to cry which he tried not to do. Ricky didn't want Ben to see him this vulnerable, but he figured the only way for he and Ben to clear the air was to let it all out. "He owned up to being my father, and he didn't try to pass his kid onto anyone, even if he didn't want to be my father, and I really wish to God that he wasn't. "Ricky could you not do this," Ben said looking at him. "You can play the victim game with everyone else, but you can't play it with me not anymore. I know what your dad did to you was wrong, but it didn't give you the right to hurt Amy, Adrian, me, or any of those other girls either." Ben said looking angrily at Ricky.

"Ricky, you may like others to give you pity, and sympathy, but I won't, not anymore." Ben said. "I lost just as much if not more than you, and I don't blame anyone, not anymore." he said. "You have no idea how hard it was to be me do you. I wasn't born to a horrible father, and a drug addict mother, like you, but I had my own problems." "I had to be the rich kid who was a geek, and find friends who liked me for me, and not my dad's money. I had to be nine years old and watch my mom who was the greatest woman in the world to me die a slow and painful death. "I had to be ridiculed and prejudged as the son of the "Sausage King" all my life. "I had to be the man that everyone expected me to be, and I still have no idea who that man was suppose to be." " And then I had to lose the only person who ever understood me when I was only nine years old.", Ben said remembering his mom.

"Do you know why I tried so hard to be in a relationship with Amy, Ricky? Why I was ready to be a father to your son, instead of just walking a way? "I did it because that was what was expected of me, Ricky." "When I first got to school, I thought I was in love with Grace Bowman, then I saw Adrian, and she captivated me in a way that no one else ever has, or probably ever will." But, I knew she was out of my league, I could be the richest man in the world, and I knew it wouldn't matter to her or Grace because they don't care about things like that." "When I saw Amy, I said 'THERE, there is a girl who would probably be attracted to a guy like me, and not care about my family's money." "My mom always told me that behind every strong man there is an even stronger woman, and I should have known then, that Amy was not the one for me. Because in every instance when I needed her, really needed her she wasn't there."

"Ben what are you talking about, Amy was there for you, even when she was with me she tried to be there for you when you daughter died." Ricky fired back defending Amy. "Ricky she was there because she thought that would be the nice thing to do, not because she was strong. Amy felt sorry for me, and I didn't need pity, I needed someone to explain to me, WHY?" Ben said looking saddened. "Why what, Ben?" Ricky asked. "Why my daughter died, after everything I did for her? I needed to know why your son lived when his existence caused so many problems in my life, and my daughter who brought peace to my life died?

"Do you know what it feels like Ricky to love something before its born? To not even know what it is or what it looks like, but to love it without condition?" Ben said starting to cry himself. "I loved John, but no matter what i did I knew he would never be mine. Mercy, was mine." "She was mine and Adrian's to have." "I hated myself for sleeping with Adrian that night, but even after all we have been through, I would still have opened that door for her that night." "I love Amy, I always will she was my first love, but Amy never really loved me." "I knew that from the first time she ever said it. But, I always thought that if I tried hard enough, and stayed by her side she would love me. But she never would, I know that now." "But, the worst part is not knowing if Adrian did." Ben said looking even sadder.

"Ben I'm sorry I know I did you wrong when I refused to let you and Adrian just be a couple, but I was only trying to be a friend, I thought the two of you were making a mistake." Ricky said. "We were making a mistake Ricky, you turned around and asked Amy to marry you in front of both me and Adrian while our marriage fell apart." Ben yelled. "You didn't even have the decency to at least make it private. You did that just to rub it in my face how your life was going so much better." "But worst of all you chose to humiliate Adrian in front of everyone at that party just to make her your little puppet one last time." Ben said. You didn't give a damn about me or Adrian, you just wanted to show how you and Amy were so perfect compared to the two of us." Ben said angrily.

"Everything all of us have been through have always had to revolve around the two of you doesn't it." Ben said. "Ben, I'm sorry I thought by kissing Adrian it would free her of me, and it did." Ricky said. "Ricky if you wanted her to be free of you, you could have just talked to her when OUR DAUGHTER DIED!" Ben screamed. "But, you only cared about you being with Amy, and John. You didn't give a damn about what she and I were going through. I can't believe I ever thought we were friends, and for you to try, and come here expecting to be forgiven, you truly are that conceited, aren't you." Ben said angrily. "Ben I'm sorry if you think what I did was cruel, but I really did like being your friend. I am sorry for what happened to your daughter, but I just didn't know how to be the friend you needed me to be Ben. I don't do well with situations like that, but I tried to be there for you." Ricky said. "Well Ricky you should have tried harder, but I guess I'm the only one who does that." Ben responded.

Ricky then remembered back to all Ben had done to help Amy, John, he, and Adrian. Ben as he remembered was always there to comfort them, talk to them laugh with them, cry with them, and even challenge them if needed. But as he continued to remember not he, Amy, or Adrian had ever really been there for him. Amy was in a relationship with him through the most difficult time in her life, and he didn't believe that Amy could have gone through with the pregnancy if it had not been for Ben. But Ricky never considered how hard it must have been having done all of that for Amy only to have her throw it back in his face, a few weeks after John was born.

He had to admit he kind of enjoyed Amy taking her frustration for raising John out on Ben instead of him. It meant that he could see John without pressure, but it also meant he might have a better chance with Amy. However he also knew Ben didn't deserve Amy's anger, or her wrath and he did. He got her pregnant, and he was the one irritating Ben by having sex all the time while Amy flaunted her new body in front of Ben. Ben did all the work, and he had to admit a little he deserved some reward. But he was glad Amy never gave in, but he also felt guilty for not telling Amy she was being too hard on Ben for asking so much of him and not understanding why he needed to go to Italy. She had asked a lot of Ben, and asking for more was breaking him, so he understood perfectly well why Ben left, but he never told Amy.

Then he remembered how Adrian always thought the happiest part of her life was when she was pregnant, and she believed that she could be happy with him, but only Ben could bring the smile she had to her face with no doubt. Adrian never seemed to realize it wasn't the baby that made her that happy, it was Ben. Thousands of girls got pregnant in high school and none of them were as happy as she was. Ricky was surprised that Cindy had never told Adrian why or who really gave her that happiness. It was the boy that put her well being, her happiness in front of his own that made being 18 in high school, and pregnant tolerable. Throughout everything she had been through as the school slut, to his reject as they were called, Ben never tried to hurt her as he knew, and he never judged her or lied to her. He even had to admit that he would not be the man he was now had it not have had Ben in his life as a rival, a friend, and a brother almost. The worst thing Ricky had to admit Ben never asked anything of any of them but their honesty, their understanding, and their love. Things he gave freely to all of them, but they could never seem to do that for him.

Ricky looked at Ben and said, "So I guess this is it then, you and I are no longer friends. I guess I deserve that Ben. I'm not going to lie or blame what happened between all of us on my past. You're right I had a choice, and I chose to hurt you, Amy, Adrian, and all of those girls because it was easier to make others feel pain than to feel my own." Ricky said taking in the full guilt of his sins by admitting this to Ben. "But, I never meant for your child to die Ben. I never wanted you and Adrian to break up, because you two really did make each other happy. I also want to thank you for what you did for Amy, because without you my child wouldn't be here. I know I did wrong when I kept interfering in your life, but it was because I was jealous of you.

You seemed to have it all, a great father, way better than the father I had. Good friends, who liked you for who you were, and you were actually the guy Amy and Adrian both could love. I have to admit I hated you mostly because you were the friend I needed, and you were this person because its who you are. I thought you were the man I could never be, until you, Adrian, my parents, your dad, Amy and John and everyone else helped me become that person. I just never realized how the consequences of my actions would affect all of us. I never wanted to realize that until you almost died, and I'm sorry you had to be close to death for me to admit what I did to you, and how much I need you as a friend. And one day Ben I do hope you can forgive me, because I do value our friendship." Ricky said that turned and left Ben's room and the Boykewich house. Because he knew nothing else needed to be said from him, or Ben.

_[Bruno Mars]  
This one's for you and me, living out our dreams  
We're all right where we should be  
Lift my arms out wide I open my eyes  
And now all I wanna see  
Is a sky full of lighters  
A sky full of lighters_

[Eminem]  
_By the time you hear this I will have already spiralled up_  
_I would never do nothing to let you cowards fuck my world up_  
_If I was you, I would duck, or get struck like lightening,_  
_Fighters keep fighting, put your lighters up, point 'em skyward uh_  
_Had a dream I was king, I woke up, still king..._  
_This rap game's nipple is mine for the milking,_  
_Till nobody else even fucking feels me, till' it kills me_  
_I swear to god I'll be the fucking illest in this music_  
_There is or there ever will be, disagree?_  
_Feel free, but from now on I'm refusing to ever give up_  
_The only thing I ever gave up is using. No more excuses._  
_Excuse me if my head is too big for this building_  
_And pardon me if I'm a cocky prick but you cocks are slick_  
_Poppin' shit on how you flipped ya life around, crock-of-shit_  
_Who you dicks try to kid, flipped dick, you did the opposite_  
_You stayed the same, cause cock backwards is still cock you pricks_  
_I love it when I tell 'em shove it_

_Cause it wasn't that long ago when Marshall sat, luster lacked, flustered_  
_Cuz he couldn't cut mustard, muster up nothing_  
_Brain fuzzy, cause he's buzzin', woke up from that buzz_  
_Now you wonder why he does it, how he does it_  
_Wasn't cause he had buzzards circle around his head_  
_Waiting for him to drop dead, was it?_  
_Or was it, cause them bitches wrote him off_  
_Little hussy ass fusses, 'cause fuck it, guess it doesn't matter now, does it_  
_What difference it make?_  
_What it take to get it through your thick skulls_  
_As if this ain't some bullshit_  
_People don't usually come back this way_  
_From a place that was dark as I was in_  
_Just to get to this place_  
_Now let these words be like a switch blade to a haters rib cage_  
_And let it be known from this day forward_  
_I wanna just say thanks cause your hate is what gave me the strength_  
_So let 'em bic's raise 'cause I came with 5'9′ but I feel like I'm 6'8″_  
_[ Lyrics from: . ]_  
_[Bruno Mars]_  
_This one's for you and me, living out our dreams_  
_We're all right where we should be_  
_Lift my arms out wide I open my eyes_  
_And now all I wanna see_  
_Is a sky full of lighters_  
_A sky full of lighters_

_[Royce Da 5'9"]_  
_By the time you hear this I'll probably already be outtie_  
_I advance like going from toting iron to going and buying 4 or 5 of the homies the iron man Audi_  
_My daddy told me slow down, boy, you goin' to blow it_  
_And I ain't gotta stop the beat a minute_  
_To tell Shady I love him the same way that he did Dr Dre on the Chronic_  
_Tell him how real he is or how high I am_  
_Or how I would kill for him for him to know it_  
_I cried plenty tears, my daddy got a bad back_  
_So it's only right that I right till he can march right into that post office and tell 'em to hang it up_  
_Now his career's Lebron's jersey in 20 years_  
_I'll stop when I'm at the very top_  
_You shitted on me on your way up_  
_It's 'bout to be a scary drop_  
_Cause what goes up must come down_  
_You going down on something you don't wanna see like a hairy box_  
_Every hour, happy hour now_  
_Life is wacky now_  
_Used to have to eat the cat to get the pussy_  
_Now I'm just the cats meoww, ow_  
_Classic now, always down for the catch weight like Pacquiao_  
_Ya'll are doomed_  
_I remember when T-Pain ain't wanna work with me_  
_My car starts itself, parks itself and autotunes_  
_Cause now I'm in the Aston_  
_I went from having my city locked up_  
_To getting treated like Kwame Kilpatrick_  
_And now I'm fantastic_  
_Compared to a weed high_  
_And y'all niggas just gossipin' like bitches on a radio and TV_  
_See me, we fly_  
_Y'all buggin' out like Wendy Williams staring at a bee-hive_  
_And how real is that_  
_I remember signing my first deal and now I'm the second best I can deal with that_  
_Now Bruno can show his ass, without the MTV awards gag_

_[Bruno Mars]_  
_You and I know what it's like to be kicked down_  
_Forced to fight_  
_But tonight we're alright_  
_So hold up your light_  
_Let it shine_  
_'Cause this one's for you and me, living out our dreams_  
_We're all right where we should be_  
_Lift my arms out wide I open my eyes_  
_And now all I wanna see_  
_Is a sky full of lighters_  
_A sky full of lighters_


	7. LET ME BE YOUR ANGEL

**"LET ME BE YOUR ANGEL"**

Ben stood in his room looking at himself in the mirror straightening his tie. As he stared at himself he began to remember how far his life had come, and how much it had changed in the past four years. He had fallen in love with Amy Jeurgens and had tried to make a life with her and her unborn son, only to realize to little way too late that she did not love him. Amy may have cared about him he could never be sure, but he knew she didn't love him. He remembered how no matter how much he did for her it was never enough for her.

He thought he had found the right woman, when he and Adrian discovered they were having a baby and she was going to keep it. He thought that maybe it was a twist of fate. Adrian was the one person he thought he could trust and turn too, not even Henry and Alice it seemed were as honest with him as she was. He really was happy when he was with her, and he treasured the time they spent together and it made sense to him that he should marry her. She was the girl who took his virginity. She was the first girl he ever thought truly knew him. She was pregnant with his child. But, life was cruel and that was a lesson he seemed to be doomed to learn when after they were only married for three days, and their child died before it was born.

He thought he could move on with Dylan, but that was a disaster beyond words. Not only did he almost go to prison, and ruined his reputation he almost died. He thought back to the place he went too while he was in acoma, and wondered was it real or was it just some vivid dream created by his subconscious. It was hard for him to know, but one thing he did know and that was he was going to be late for his final prom. He looked at his hair one last time, and grabbed his wallet before heading downstairs.

"Ben, are you gonna be up there all day or are you going to come down." Leo yelled up to his son from the bottom of the stairs. "I'm coming Dad, I just want to look my best", Ben replied as he began to descend the staircase. "So, how do I look?" he asked as he stood before his family. "Big Brother, I have never seen any man look more handsome," Chloe said. "She's right Ben you look so terrific." Camille replied. "Well, what do you expect he is my son, and a Boykewich after all." Leo joined in. "You tell em Dad." Ben chimed in as he smiled as they all began to take pictures with their cell phones.

"So are you sure you're ready to go out on your own tonight, I mean its not too late for Chloe to put on a dress, or for you to call one of your friends and have them go with you." Leo askd. "Dad, I'm fine going to the prom by myself." Ben replied. "I know Ben, but this is your senior prom, your last dance at Grant High, and after everything you have been through, I just don't want you to go there and look." Leo hesitated his last comment. "Look like a loser, because of everything that has happened." Ben added.

"Dad, I am a Boykewich, and I am part Irish, and part Italian and neither of those blood lines make me part punk, wimp, or loser." "If that is what others think of me then let them, I'm proud of having been able to go through what I did, and still hold my head up tall. It doesn't matter to me if I don't have, Amy, Adrian, or Dylan on my arm tonight. I finally got the respect I lost, and that is better than any girl. I'm not going to prom to impress anyone, I'm going to show them I fell down, but I still got back up." Ben said proudly. "Besides I would look like a total loser if I took my sister to the prom." Ben said with a mocking tone. "Hey, you would be lucky to take a girl like me to the prom, Ben." Chloe replied. "Yeah, probably Chloe but the only thing I find I am lucky about is having you for a sister." Ben said not wanting to hurt her feelings. "Nice save." Chloe replied as she hugged Ben and kissed his cheek.

"Let me get a picture of that," Camille said. "Mom, I have to go Mike is waiting" Ben said. As he moved the vase by the door fell over and hit the floor, but shockingly it didn't break. "Well that was another nice save, Camille said happy the vase was okay. "That vase is worth a lot of money. "Guys before I go I've been meaning to ask did mom ever break any dishes, or anything?" Ben asked as he picked his keys up off the dish by the door. "Yeah, she did that all the time. Ben that used to happen when you were still very young, how did you know." Leo said shocked Ben would remember that at this time.

"Yes, I remember she always use to drop or break something whenever Leo and I were alone in a room for too long." Camille added. "I think she was worried, that your Dad, and I were having an affair." Camille joked. "She did, but I think she is sorry for it and she is happy you two are together, and happy. Ben said looking at them with a smile. "How do you know that." Leo asked. "Mom, told me. Ben said as he left out the door leaving Camille, Leo, and Chloe in a state of shock at his last statement.

Ben left outside, and entered into the limo with Mike holding the door for him. "So, Ben who should I pick up first tonight? Your date or your friends" he asked. "Sorry, Mike I'm going stag tonight. "Really, I would think you would want to have a pretty girl on your arm at your last high school dance, or at least with Henry and Alice. "That's because the old me needed to have those luxuries, the new me, likes being a bit independant." Ben said as he sat down inside the limo. "Okay, its your night and your car, but I must warn you I'm here to drive, and drive only. So if you go to a hotel room or a make out spot, you are on your own." he said with a laugh. "Don't worry Mike, your're safe." Ben replied with a smile as he leaned back into the seat.

The car made it to the prom in under fifteen minutes, while Ben sat in the back he was now certain that his time in that place wasn't a dream, and he smiled to himself. "You look cheerful tonight Ben, are you suppose to be meeting someone at the prom?" Mike asked. "No, I'm just happy that I made it this far, and thinking about the future." Ben replied. "Well you know what they say Ben. Leave the past behind you, live in the present, and the rest. Well the rest is unwritten." Mike replied. "Listening to to many old songs, Mike?" Ben asked. "Maybe, but some songs make a lot of sense, for certain occassions." Mike replied. "What do you mean?" Ben asked. "You'll find out. Mike said with a sly smile.

Ben walked into the hotel where the prom was being held with pride, and no shame for being by himself. As he stepped through the door no one was looking at him, and everyone was in their own groups talking, dancing and having a good time. As he moved toward the table to check in Ben noticed that Katelyn was sitting at the table and checking off everyone's name. "Hi, Ben I see you decided to show up." she said with a smile. "Yeah, had nothing else better to do on a Saturday night, and I'm hoping being here won't get me into trouble." he said with a smile. 'No, we definitely don't want that for you." she said smiling."So are you meeting someone, or are you waiting on your date to arrive?" she asked. "No, tonight I decided that I needed to be alone, and have a good time like that. "Well, that is good for you, and who knows you might have a better time than you expected." she replied. "Who knows." he said and walked into the ballroom.

As Ben looked around he saw Henry and Alice on the dance floor dancing or at least attempting to dance since neither Henry or Alice had any real rythm. He saw Jack, Grace, Ricky, and Amy sitting at a table and talking and laughing with one another. What he saw next shocked him and others, as he saw Lauren making out with Grant, as her brother danced with Madison on the dance floor. Ben thought it pleasant to see Jason finally having fun instead of analyzing everything like he usually did.

Ben decided to move over to the refreshment table, and get a view of the entire prom from a far. In some instances Ben remembered that he used to do this a lot when he was in middle school. He was the shy kid with braces and glasses a bigger dork than he was now. He remembered how he swore he would never do that again hide in the shadow of everyone else, and be afraid to take chances. He began to think that perhaps there was a reason for people being wall flowers, and not the the centerpieces. If he had known then what he knew now would he have stayed a wall flower.

Wall flowers don't get hurt, they stand in the back ground and don't get noticed. They don't get humiliated, they don't fall in love with the wrong woman. They don't get women pregnant in a night for revenge. They don't doubt their friends and their loyalty to them. They don't get married at seventeen and suffer the loss of a child they had grown to love. They don't hook up with girls who not only like trouble, but love creating it. They dont' burn down schools, and take the wrap for other people's messes. They also don't nearly die in car accidents caused by yet another girl breaking their heart. Maybe being close to the wall was better for me he thought as he drank a third glass of punch lost in his own mind until Amy touched him on his shoulder.

"Hi, Ben its nice to see that you made it." Amy said. "Yeah, nice to be here how are you Amy? You guys look like you are having a good time." Ben said as he turned to speak to her. "Yeah, I am." she said I was wondering if you would like to dance for a minute?" she asked. "No, thanks Amy I don't like pity, you know that. Besides I am having a nice refreshing drink of watered down punch." Ben responded. "Ben, please I would like to talk to you too." she pleaded. Ben looked at Amy and he looked over at Ricky who seemed to be watching them as they talked. "Amy maybe we shouldn't Ricky looks uncomfortable, and I really don't want to ruin tonight for anyone." he said. "Ben, its alright Ricky knows I was coming over here, he's the one who pointed you out to me. So please Ben one last dance, for old times sake."

Ben looked at Amy, then at Ricky who looked to have very pleading eyes, almost as if he was hoping for them to dance. "Alright Amy, for old times sakes. Amy took Ben by the hand and led him to the dance floor where a few of the students watched them, but others gave no notice to them. "So Amy, what did you drag me out to the dance floor for? Are you and Ricky having problems and want to make each other jealous? or Are you trying to get me to make up with him to relieve his guilt over our fallout?" he asked. "No, Ben this is me trying to relieve my guilt." she said with sincerity. "Ben, I want to say thank you, and that I'm sorry.

"Amy, I think you and I have already had this conversation, on more than one occasion, I don't think we should have it again." Ben replied. "No, Ben we should, because not everything was said, and I didn't really tell you everything." Amy said remorsefully. "So, what is it you have to say. Are you sorry for how my life got all shitty. Are you sorry for me nearly killing myself in a car accident, because I got into yet another dumb relationship. Are you thankful for me surviving, or for me finally realizing how stupid I have been. He asked. "No, Ben I'm thankful for the fact that men like you exist to help selfish, stupid, girls like me. And I'm sorry I never appreciated you while we were dating, and I'm sorry for how I used you.". Amy replied almost crying.

"I don't get it, Amy how did you use me." Ben asked surprised at this statement. "Ben when we first started dating, I did like you but I didn't really date you for the right reason. When I found out I was pregnant, I told Ricky and he was nowhere near the man he is now." She said. "He told me to get the abortion, and that we were too young to take on such a big responsibility. Then he told me the best thing for me to do was too sleep with you, and convince you that the baby was yours." she said looking at Ben with guilt. Ben looked at Amy surprised that she was telling him this, not knowing he already knew. "Ben when you first told me, that you loved me I was shocked and shamed. The only reason I said that I loved you back was because, I was going to sleep with you, and do exactly what Ricky had suggested." Amy said this in a rush in order to get it out. But, Ben wasn't surprised, he had a feeling that this was the reason Amy was with him. But, hearing it from her and confirming it still hurt, as he felt a twinge of pain go through his heart.

"I know what I was considering and decided to do was wrong, but I thought overtime I really could fall in love with you. And I thought that I did, but the fact that Ricky was changing for John made it hard for me to develop real feelings for you." she said now crying. "So, you just made me feel like crap while Ricky slept around, and started this little change. Then made me feel guilty for breaking up with you, and believing it was my fault every time because I thought I did something wrong." Ben said getting mad, and remembering the guilt he felt after he visited Amy in New York.

"Then you made me feel like shit, for sleeping with Adrian, and getting her pregnant. Making me feel like it was wrong, to have feelings for Adrian and my daughter because I thought I had hurt, and betrayed you and Ricky. All the while you used me. Amy for the past year and half I have blamed my daughters death on me and Adrian because I thought she died to pay for how we hurt you and Ricky. When all along she was just an excuse for you and Ricky to break up with Adrian and I guilt free." Ben said now getting angry. "Why didn't you just break up with me, and tell me all of this the first time Amy!" Ben yelled causing a scene.

"Ben, I'm sorry you don't need to cause a scene here." Amy said trying not to draw more attention toward them. "Amy I really don't give a damn about who hears, me, or about causing a scene. Of all the times, you have made your life public knowledge to this school, now the one time when you are finally being honest you don't want to make a scene." Ben said aloud. At that moment Ricky, Jack, Grace, along with Henry and Alice came to see what was going on. "Ben, what's going on?" Ricky asked ready to defend Amy. "Just finding out the truth about you, and your wife, or fiancee, Ricky" Ben said aloud. "Hearing the truth about how she planned on sleeping with me to pretend that the child she was carrying was mine and not yours. Which was the original reason she dated me in the first place." Ben said letting everyone hear.

"Ben, you should calm down." Grace asked trying to alleviate the situation. "Calming down, when you find out the woman I have been supposedly madly in love with, sacrificed my life for, and lost my daughter because of is a liar, a user, and a horrible person doesn't calm me Grace. It was then that Ben looked around at all the people in the room staring at him, and the spectacle he was making of himself. Ben then took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and envisioned his little girl that was back at the meadow. He opened his eyes and let out the breath held in, then looked at Amy. "I forgive you Amy." he said as honestly and sincerely as he could. "This shocked everyone at the prom, who most believed that Amy was using Ben.

Many thought that Ben should berate Amy for all the embarrassment he had endured throughout high school. Others thought he should throw punch at her to humiliate her the way she did him. Others thought he should call his dad, and have Ricky and Amy kicked out of their apartment, and take away all the assistance he had afforded them. But, to see Ben Bokykewich, the School Idiot, and fool give up his only opportunity to get revenge impressed them more. This caused many to remember that Ben was suppose to be the school prince, had he not associated himself with Amy, Ricky, and Adrian.

"Ben, you don't have to say that. I don't deserve it, and after all that's happened between us I deserve your anger." Amy said guiltily. "Yes, you probably do, and someone else probably would take this opportunity to get back at you and everyone else. But, I am not that person, and I hope to God for the sake of my, daughter, and mother I never will be. Ben said remembering them in that place once again. "You used me, you lied to me, and you hurt me, for loving you. But, I forgive you." Because if I didn't I wouldn't be worthy of the little girl I never got the opportunity to really know, and the mother who taught me why its important to love, and to forgive." Ben then hugged Amy kissed her on the cheek, shook Ricky's hand and said congratulations on you upcoming marriage.

"Ben, Ricky said grasping to Ben's hand. "I'm sorry we both are. Amy and I both owe a lot to you and your dad for all that you've done for us. And if Amy and I did play apart, in you daughters death we are truly sorry and ashamed. We both should have talked to you, and been honest about everything, instead of worrying about how other people would see us." Ricky said. "I owe my son's life, and my own life to you, and I am... No we Amy, Me, and John are sorry. Ricky said praying Ben would believe him. "Yeah, Ricky I know, and like I said you're forgiven." Ben said that then turned and left the prom.

As Ben headed to the doors he was followed by Henry, Alice, along with Grace and Jack who wanted to make sure Ben was okay after what had just happened. "Ben, are you okay after hearing that. Alice asked holding tightly to Henry's hand. "Yeah, I mean Ricky and Amy aren't the only ones who owe you an apology, Alice, and I both owe you one for how we acted. "I'm okay Henry, and I owe you two an apology as well for how I acted. "I should have never slept with you Alice, you and Henry were my friends, and I should have treated you better.

"Ben that works both ways." Henry said. "I should have never slept with Adrian, or broken up with Alice, and definitely should have never taken advantage of my friendship with you. "Since we were little, you have always done so much for me. You were my friend, and like a brother to me. You never cared about my families economic situation, or how I wasn't as smart as everyone else. he said. "I guess in a way I envied you, and was jealous, because you didn't have to be my friend, or do any of that stuff, but you did it anyway. I just hope we can still be friends after this. Henry responded. "That goes double for me," Alice replied. I hope we can too." Ben said.

"Wait, you and Alice." Jack asked looking at Ben and Alice. "Man, I did not see that coming." he replied. "Ben, I'm sorry too. Grace said. "Grace, what would you have to be sorry for?" Ben asked. "For being a bad friend, and even worse a bad Christian," Grace admitted. "When you and Adrian lost your daughter instead of trying to help my two best friends, who were married overcome that, I turned tale and ran away. "When I lost my dad, you both tried to be there for me and help me deal with it." she said with shame.

"When I saw how you and Adrian were hurting, I guess it reminded me of how much I missed my dad." "But, that was still no excuse for just abandoning you, and leaving you all alone, and dealing with ADRIAN the way she was. Then when she decided to divorce you, instead of trying to help her, I turn around and pimp her out to guys I know. Some friend" she said to herself. "I guess in a way I was jealous of her, for having you. When I found out she slept with you, I got mad. Because she took you away from me, before I even got a chance to have you. I guess I liked the way, you saw me, and treated me unlike some other guys I know." Grace said referring to Jack.

"I should have, tried to help both of you deal with the death of your daughter, instead of acting like some saved Christian, when I obviously need to start reading the bible again. she said. "But, thanks for being there for my best friend, and for seeing me the way you did." she responded remembering her first date with Ben and how he told her about his crush on her. I really do understand and believe that Amy, Adrian, and even Dylan loved you. Because you see the best in all of us, even when we can't see it in ourselves. I guess you are an angel yourself, Ben Boykewich." Grace said. "No, Grace I'm just human. And I hope you and Jack make it. Before I go someone wanted me to tell you that they are sorry." Ben said. "Sorry for what?" Grace asked.

"He wanted me to tell you "_He was sorry he turned out to be the wolf who ate the Knight in Shining Armor."_ Ben replied remembering Marshall Bowman's words for made Grace start crying, and caused Jack to worry as she did. "Grace, are you okay baby what's going on? he asked looking at Ben and back at Grace. "Nothing, its just what Ben said is something my dad and I only knew about." Grace replied. "It was a story about how Goldilocks was princess, and she was in the woods. She was off in the woods looking for a prince when she was chased into their cottage by a wolf. When the bears discovered her and saw what she did, they chased her out.

The wolf who was trying to get to Goldilocks found the Prince in shining armor instead. The prince was in the water bathing when the wolf gobbled him up and put on his shining armor, to trick Goldilocks. When he found her being chased by the three bears he chased them away then tried to trick Goldilocks into coming away with him. But her father the king was looking for her and noticed the truth behind the wolf when he looked past the shining armor into the wolf's eyes. He then slew the wolf and opened a hole in his stomach so the prince could escape.

When the prince saw Goldilocks he immediately fell in love with her and asked to marry her promising to love and protect her for all time. But Goldilocks said no to him because she realized the only person who would love and protect her for all time was her father the king. They went home back to the home of the three bears. They cleaned the bear's home, cooked them a new dinner, and made all the bed's to apologize for for Goldilocks. They then went back to their castle where they lived happily ever after. " Grace said then began to cry.

"Ben, is my dad okay. I mean he didn't go to hell or anything, did he?" Grace asked fearing for her father's soul. "No Grace, he's not in hell, but he's not exactly in heaven either." Ben began to explain. "I think its somewhere inbetween where people like he and I are allowed to see our mistakes, and in some way find redemption for those mistakes." he said trying his best to help her understand. "I believe the guilt of the pain he caused to you and all of his family weighed him down, and the love that all of you had for him kept him from going to hell." Ben said trying to ease Grace's mind about her father.

"Your dad wanted you and everyone to know that he is truly sorry for the mistake he made, by not being able to let go of Jacob's mom, and be with your mom. He cared for all of you, your mom, and Jacob's mom and all of his children. But, when he was supposed to let go of one of you he couldn't do it. Mainly I guess because for him to let go of one of them, the other would be in pain. Your dad loved both of them so much he couldn't bare for one of them to experience that type of pain. So instead he let both of his families have as much happiness as he could without trying to cause either of them pain, and he was selfish he wanted to keep you all. But in the end he lost you all, and caused you that pain anyway.

"Your dad wanted me to tell you, its alright for you to hate him for what he did. He knows that he deserves it, but your brother doesn't. He and his mom are innocent just like you, your mom, and Tom. He was also sorry that he failed to live up to your expectations of him, but he guessed he was more like Jack and Ricky than he thought." Ben said. He also wants you to know his death was not the fault of you and Jack sleeping together. His death was just his destiny, and his fate as well as his punishment for being so vein. He wants your forgiveness, as well as the forgiveness of you mom, Jacob's mom, and your brothers. He also wishes for all of you to really get to know one another and understand each other, because like it or not you are all family, and Jacob, really needs both of you right now." Ben said letting Grace know of all her fathers feelings toward her.

"Thank you Ben, for telling me this. I always wondered what happened to my dad, when we found out about Jacob, and now I really do think i can start learning to forgive my dad. I think I can also start to truly get to know my little brother now." Grace said smiling at Ben happy to know of her fathers thoughts to her. "Ben, how did you find out all this stuff?" Jack asked. "My accident, it took me to a place that I guess kept me alive while the doctors worked on me." Ben replied. "So you mean all that time you were in surgery, and asleep you were there?" Alice asked. "Yeah, I was. I think it wasn't my time to go, and part of me really wanted it to be." Ben said. "Well what about now, are you still thinking about, you know." Henry asked. Alice punched him in the arm as soon as he did. "No, don't worry Alice, you guys are stuck with me a little longer." Ben replied.

"Man, Ben that was some story. All I did when I was in the hospital, was dream of eating cookies with Joe Nameth surrounded by Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders." Jack said. "Jack stop being silly" Grace said punching him in the arm mimicking Alice. "Well, I think I better get home" Ben said as he walked toward the limo. "Ben, you don't have to go you could stay for the prom, and hang out with us." Henry said trying not see his friend leave. "Nah, I'm tired, and I have had enough excitement for one night." Ben responded as he opened up the limo door, and got in. "Goodbye guys, I'll see you at the graduation. As Henry and Alice watched their friend leave, they both had the eerie feeling that this was an omen of their friend leaving them behind, which was something neither wanted to accept.

"So, Ben are you sure you don't want to stay a little longer? It is your last dance as a high school student." Mike asked as he turned out of the hotel parking lot. "Mike, I think I have had enough of high school." Ben replied. "Well tell me do you mind if I stop and get something to eat?" Mike asked. "Sure, I owe you for driving me here." Ben replied. Ben took out his phone and realized it was still early only 10:12 pm perhaps he could get home and catch a movie. He hoped "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" was still on his DVR. Adrian always did love Brad and Angelina, she always liked how that movie is what brought them together.

As Ben felt the car turn he noticed that Mike had stopped by "PAPI'S TACO'S". "Mike, did you have to stop by here couldn't you get some burgers, a pizza, or some Italian we are are both Italian's you know." Ben said sarcastically. "Hey what can I say I like Mexican and spicy food, you used to as well, if I can remember." Mike responded. "Yeah, that was a long time ago, Mike." Ben said sarcastically. "It wasn't so long ago, Ben. Who knows maybe you still have a fondness for Mexican." Mike replied. "I doubt that Mike." Ben replied back. "Well come in, and share a taco with me for old times sakes." Mike asked. "Okay, I do owe you for years of service." Ben said as he opened the door.

As Ben got out of the limo he closed the door just in time to hear the cars tires spin and drive away. Ben was in shock as he saw the limo take off leaving him in what looked like the deserted parking lot of the taco place which appeared to be closed. As Ben stood dumbfounded by Mike's departure he noticed that he also didn't have his phone which he left on the seat of the limo. He was wondering what to do when he saw another car pull into the parking lot with the lights on. As he peered past the lights which were on highbeam and peered past their bright lights he realized the car belonged to Adrian Lee.

Adrian got out of the car wearing a very stunning red dress that accenuated every curve of her body. Her hair and make up was done in a very precise, and beautiful manner which only rivaled the way she looked the day they were married. "Adrian what the hell are you doing here." Ben asked still in shock at what was happening. "Its prom night and I want my dance ." she said looking at him. "Adrian this isn't funny. This is not the prom, and you aren't even in high school anymore." Ben responded. "That still doesn't mean, that I can't have one last dance with you she said looking at him intently.

"Adrian we have already danced at prom together, remember." Ben said. "We danced at your prom, together last year." Ben said trying not to hurt her, but still angry at the situation. "Ben I'm not talking about that dance. I'm talking about the dance you owe me from our wedding. The dance that we never got to have." She said still being totally serious with him. "We're no longer married Adrian." Ben said now becoming stern. "I know, and I know that its my fault, because I gave up on you and our marriage too soon for the wrong reason. But, I still want to dance one last time with you." she said becoming sad.

"Adrian our marriage is over because of both of us. It was a mistake, when we got married." Ben replied calming down. "Don't say that Ben. Don't you dare say that." she said pointing and warning finger at him and becoming strict. "The reason we got married was wrong. The reason we got divorced was wrong, but I married you because I loved you, and you married me because you loved me." she said shedding tears ruining her make up. "I'm sorry Adrian, but I'm just not in the mood, okay." I will dance with you some other time, but not tonight." Ben said trying to compromise. "I don't want any other night. I can't afford it. I bought this dress, and I rented out Papi's for just tonight, so its now or never." She said.

"You did this, but how did you know I was done at the dance?" he asked. "Henry and Alice, they figured they both owed us one." she replied. "I asked Mike to help too. I would have been here and set up something special, but you left the dance way earlier than I suspected, so I only had enough time to do my hair and make up." she said looking at him and wiping the tears, and mascara from her face. "But, that was a waste of time, because look at me I look really romantic don't I." she replied laughing at her now ruined make up. Ben walked toward her, and took out his handkerchief, and began to wipe away the make up she had on. "Adrian Lee, how many times have I told you that you are beautiful on your own, and you don't need any of this to get my attention." he said.

"So, you did all of this just for one last dance with me?" he asked surprised she would go to such trouble. "Yes, because I want to have the dance I never got to have with you." She replied. "You know we have danced together before what makes this one so special?" he asked in earnest. "This is the dance you gave to Amy, but never gave to me." she responded looking at him with." sad and hooded eyes. "My dance with Amy. You mean the one we just had at the prom?" he asked bewildered. "No, I mean your first dance with Amy. The one you both had four years ago at the "Back to School Pep Rally." she replied. "The one where I went to with Ricky, and got caught by Tom making out with Jack." she said. "Yeah, I remember. But how do you now about that. When I danced with Amy the only people there were me, Amy, and the school janitor." he asked.

"I was there too, and so was Ricky." she said. "I saw how you took her in those scrawny arms of yours and held her, and danced without music. I saw how she really appreciated it, because she was pregnant with another man's child, and there you were taking care of her, like you always do. I saw her cry into your shoulder, and how you didn't mind. You just wanted to hold her, and let her know everything would be alright, because you were there for her." she said sad and jealous. "I had left my purse and went back to get it when I saw you two like that, and that is the day when I started to hate, Amy Jeurgens." she said with anger.

"Because here she was all geeky and sad. She already had Ricky and then she had you this great guy, who didn't want anything from her accept to make her feel okay. You didn't want to have sex with her, or cop a feel. You didn't want her to even fall in love with you yet, but there you were doing everything in your power to let her know that even though you didn't know her you cared about her." she said crying. "I watched you two, and I was angry, and jealous because I wished that it was me in your arms like that. I wanted a guy like you too be there for me, and hold me and make me feel like that, just once." she said. "But, guys like you never go for girls like me. So I tried to create that with Ricky, but even now I know you were one of a kind, because Ricky could never make me feel like that, Max couldn't make me feel like that. Jack couldn't and not even Omar." she said revealing all of her feelings to Ben.

"The only person who has ever made me feel safe when they held me was you. The only person who I know will always be there when I need them is you. The only person who I have ever felt I needed was you, Ben." she said now crying. "And I know I shouldn't still want to need you but I do. Because no matter how much I hate to need you, I do because I love you. That is why I went to you in the car that night. I didn't give a damn about Ricky and Amy kissing, I used that to be with you. Because I wanted to be your first, I wanted to feel you next to me, and have you for myself, because Amy didn't deserve it. Neither did Grace, Maria, Dylan, or any other girl. Because I saw who you really were, and you didn't need to be Ricky, or a hero to make me happy, or feel safe. You are more of a man than any guy I have ever been with, and I think that is why I got pregnant by you that night. Because deep down I wanted to have part of you with me, and because I never let you know how you really meant to me, our daughter died. Ben you have no idea how much I really do love you, and it scares me.

Because no matter how much I try, and deny it you are the one I want." she said crying. Ben then wrapped his arms around Adrian, and held her closely to him letting her feel close to his warmth, and protection. "You see Ben, this is what I am talking about." she replied. She stared up at him with hooded eyes, and he stared back at her with his doe colored warm eyes. "Mrs. Adrian Lee would you give me the honor of this dance." Ben asked as he let go of Adrian and bowed in front of her. Adrian laughed at Ben's geeky corniness, stepped back and curtsied, and said. "Mr. Boykewich I would be delighted. "They then entangled their fingers in one another and began dancing together in the parking lot with no music playing.

As they danced Adrian looked at Ben and asked, "What was she like?" "Who?" Ben asked confused at the question. "Mercy, you said that when we were on the roof you saw her. What was she like Ben." Adrian asked wondering about their child together. "I was hoping, you would ask that." Ben said smiling. "She was wonderful, and everything that you and I hoped she would be, and everything we hoped she wouldn't be." Ben said. "What do you mean? she asked. "She was a complete mash up of you and me of your beauty, my innocence. Your common sense and my kindness. She had your flare and courage, but she had my desire to ask questions, and need to understand. he said happily. "But she also had both of our tempers, and unfortunately she had my weakness to be hurt." Ben said.

Did she have your eyes? Adrian asked staring up at him. "Yes, how did you know that?" Ben asked surprised at Adrian's assumption of Mercy. "Because I wished for that." she replied. "When I would look at you Ben, I would always look at your eyes because I can literally get lost in them. They are so beautiful, because they are so kind, and honest. When I talk to you I know everything you say is true and honest. Your eyes can never keep a secret, the reveal everything about you even your feelings. They even show me when you are thinking something naughty. So when I decided to keep the baby, and you came to me at the clinic, I saw how surprised and scared you were that I was going to keep her. For a minute I was scared that you would abandon me, then I saw your eyes, and when you told me how we should make the best of it, I knew you were being sincere with me. It was at that moment that I wished if she got anything from you it would be your eyes." she responded.

"Well you got your wish, but my wish was that she would get your spirit, and she has it down to the letter." Ben replied. "Was that a good thing." she asked. "Yes, it was because she was perfect Adrian. She was everything you and I could ever hope her to be and then some." he said. "Is she happy, Ben?" Adrian asked. "Yes she is happy, and she is being looked after by two very good angels." Ben replied. "Your mom, and who else?" she answered. "Dr. Bowman, and just for good measure, your friend Antonio." he replied. "Antonio, is watching over her?" she said surprised and happy. "Yes, he is. Just like he is still watching over you. Just like my mom watches over me. Just like Mercy watches over both of us." he replied looking at her intently. "Like you look over me." she replied. "Like we look after each other, Adrian." Ben said back. They both continued to dance not caring how long they would stay swaying in one anothers' arms. Both Adrian and Ben were content to just dance there until the sun came up.

It was then that the song A. N. G. E. L. by Natasha Bedingfield began to play from some far away radio. But was actually being played by Henry and Alice who had snuck into the back with a speaker and an ipod.

I guess this is our song Ben said. "I think it suits us perfectly Benny." Adrian said and laid her head against his chest and listened to his heart beat.

**_A.n.g.e.l_**  
**_ A.n.g.e.l_**

**_ Just like a shadow_**  
**_ I'll be beside you_**  
**_ I'll be your comfort_**  
**_ I'm there to guide you home_**  
**_ I will provide you a place of shelter_**  
**_ I wanna be your zone_**  
**_ I'll act as if you do_**  
**_ Tell me what you wanted me to do_**  
**_ I'll make you great to be a man_**  
**_ With a woman who can stand_**  
**_ With every promise given_**  
**_ Making vows to please her man_**

**_ [Chorus:]_**  
**_ If I could be your angel (your angel, your angel)_**  
**_ Protect you from the pain (from the pain, oh)_**  
**_ I'll keep you safe from danger (from danger, from danger)_**  
**_ You'll never hurt again (no more)_**  
**_ I'll be your_**  
**_ A-N-G-E-L_**  
**_ A-N-G-E-L_**  
**_ I'm gonna be your A-N-G-E-L_**  
**_ A-N-G-E-L_**  
**_ I'll be your angel_**

"So Benny, do you think that there might be another chance for the two of us?" she asked hoping. I think we should give that last kiss scenario a try." Ben replied. "What if we don't feel anything? Adrian asked scared that she would feel something and Ben wouldn't. "Adrian, if we don't, or you don't, or I don't it won't matter. Because it won't change what I promised you, or how we meant to each other. So lets just, see what happens." He assured her. Ben and Adrian then kissed. Soon their lips crashed into one another rushed and heated  
**_ Just like the moon_**  
**_ I'll step beside_**  
**_ And let your sun shine_**  
**_ While I follow behind_**  
**_ Cause baby what ya got_**  
**_ It deserves all the props_**  
**_ You're everything I'm not_**

Their breaths joined as Ben would let out air from his lungs and into Adrian's as they breathe one another's air. Both now understood the meaning of the song "No Air" by Jordan Sparks and Chris Brown. When you kiss someone you breathe into them your air and you breathe in theirs. Now both could breathe so easily into each other like they could with no one else. This kiss gave both a feeling that neither knew they had with the other, and didn't have without the air. Ben felt a tingling he thought Amy could only ever give him. A sense of completeness that he had been missing for so long.

**_I'll act as if you do_**  
**_ Tell me what you wanted me to do_**  
**_ I'll make you great to be a man_**  
**_ With a woman who can stand_**  
**_ With every promise given_**  
**_ Making vows to please her man_**

**_ [Chorus]_**

**_ Tell me why there's so many good men_**  
**_ left in the world misunderstood_**  
**_ He's a dog, he's no good_**  
**_ I wish somebody would_**  
**_ Disrespect my man_**  
**_ You're gonna have to come see me_**  
**_ I work hard for my baby_**  
**_ He's all that I need_**

Unlike her kiss with Ricky Adrian felt the need, the yearning that she had for someone filled as Ben's lips and hers crushed against each others. Soon Ben parted his mouth, and their tongues intermingled, wrapping themselves in passion. This kiss was unlike the heat and fire that Adrian felt for Ricky, a fire that was burning her alive. This wasn't a cool rush of air that she got from Omar which satisfied her for a while. This was a breeze that warmed Adrian all over and made her feel as if she was standing on a tropical beach as the rays of the sun warmed her all over.

**_So if you got a good one_**  
**_ Put your hands up,_**  
**_ Come on girl and stand up_**  
**_ Go ahead lift your man up_**  
**_ Get up_**  
**_ If you got a good one, put your hands up_**  
**_ Go ahead lift your man up_**  
**_ Get up_**  
**_ If you got a good one, stand up_**  
**_ Come on girl, and stand up._**

For Ben it was the missing piece of a puzzle he could never finish. An ending to a race he never thought he could win. To him it was the taste of forever. As they parted from their kiss Adrian and Ben leaned their heads against one another and continued to move in motion to the song as their hearts beat together in union.

**I WILL BE UPLOADING ANOTHER CHAPTER TO TIE UP THE LOOSE ENDS STAY TUNED...**


	8. The Rest is Still Unwritten

**_THE REST IS STILL UNWRITTEN_**

Ben and Adrian spent the rest of that night dancing and talking, as the dawn came in they tracked down where the music was coming from and found Henry and Alice asleep in the Camaro Alice, received from Leo for Christmas. He and Adrian awoke the two sleeping love birds, and thanked them for D"Jing their dance. Henry and Alice both said that no thanks were needed they both felt guilty for their actions, and doing this was the least they could do to help them reconnect if it was possible. As they left Adrian then asked Ben to drive back to the condo with her, but Ben had decided that he wanted to go somewhere else. To a place that he regretted that he never took Adrian, and a place where both had needed to go for a long time.

Ben asked Adrian to drive him to the grave yard where there daughter, and Ben's mother were both buried. Adrian was hesitant to go to this place, because she was afraid to be reminded that her daughter was gone. "Ben, I can't I want to be with you, but I can't go there to see her. If I do that I don't think I could survive." Adrian said as she quickly began to shed tears at the thought of seeing Mercy's grave. "Adrian, we need to go there to say goodbye to our daughter, and let her know that its okay for her to move on. We have to do something that we need to do, and she needs us to do, and that's to let her go. "I have been avoiding that place like the plague since her wake, and I still feel guilty that I didn't have a funeral for her. But, she needs to know that we still love, and miss her. Besides, my mom is still mad that I never introduced her to the mother of her granddaughter." Ben said taking Adrian's hand.

As Adrian felt Ben's hand in hers for some reason she felt stronger, and more confident. She hated how Ben could do that to her, make her feel so much stronger than she actually was. "I know you can do this Adrian, and I know that it's scary. But you need to say goodbye to her just as much as I do." Ben said as he looked at Adrian in the eyes and took her face in his hand and kissed her passionately. As Adrian felt Ben's kiss she was revitalized by his strength and confidence. She decided as soon as his breath intermingled with hers that she would become the strong person he believed her to be, she realized that if Ben could have that much faith in her she could have that much faith in herself. She looked at Ben and took him by the hand, and said. "Okay Benny I'll do it, but you had better not let me go after this." "I let you go once Adrian, and looked how I ended up, I promise I will never let you go again." Ben replied leaning his head against hers.

Ben and Adrian then made their way from Papi's Tacos to the grave site of Mercy Lee Boykewich, and Sarah Helen Boykewich. As they got out of the car Adrian held onto the door handle and leaned against it as she looked at the entrance, afraid to go in. Ben walked towards her took her by the hand and wrapped his arms around her. Feeling Ben do that and having him so close to her, made Adrian feel as if he had given her an invisible suit of armor, that could shield her from anything. With this feeling she let go of the car door took Ben by the hand and walked with him to the Boykewich family plots. As they neared the graves, the armor Adrian felt she had on could not protect her from the emotion of pain that flooded her as she saw the two graves of Ben's mom, and their daughter lie before her.

Adrian turned her head and cried into Ben's chest as she saw the first, and final resting place of her daughter. the Epitaph read _"MERCY LEE BOYKEWICH" BELOVED DAUGHTER OF BEN AND ADRIAN BOYKEWICH THOUGH YOU WERE HERE FOR ONLY A MOMENT YOU TAUGHT US HOW TO LOVE FOR A LIFE TIME. SLEEP WELL OUR PRECIOUS LITTLE PRINCESS". _Adrian cried harder as she read the epitaph, and touched her hand to the cold brimstone that displayed the message on her daughter's tombstone. She placed her hand over her mouth as she looked at Ben, and turned to him to ask. "Ben who chose the epitaph, and her tombstone?" as she saw the headstone with two angels male and female holding roses over a cradle. Its beautiful did your dad pick this for her or mine?" she asked.

Ben looked at her and said, "No, her own dad did." Ben said sadly. Adrian looked at Ben in shock and turned to him wondering how he could choose a tombstone for Mercy after losing her. "Ben how did you do that? We buried Mercy three days after she died, how did you find the strength to pick a tombstone for her after she died." Adrian asked horrified at what Ben must have been feeling to choose his daughters tombstone. "I did all of it Adrian." Ben responded looking at her with pain in his eyes. I chose the tombstone, I chose the epitaph for her grave, I chose the coffin she would be buried in." Ben said as tears now began to appear in his eyes, as he relived all he did to make the arrangements for his daughters grave. "I even chose the dress, and blanket she would be buried in." As Ben told Adrian as his tears began to flow uncontrollably from his eyes. I did it because she was our daughter, and I wanted her to know that I loved her, and that you loved her, that we loved her. I didn't want her to feel scared, or alone when they buried her. I didn't want her to feel alone in the ground, and I came here the day they buried her to kiss her goodbye from you and me because I knew neither your or I might never have the strength to come back here."

Ben then fell to his knees unable to have any strength to stand on his own. As he collapsed on his knees before his mom and daughters grave, Adrian gave no thought to her dress or her own pain, but to Ben's. As she dropped to the ground beside him, she wrapped her arms around him and held tightly to him, as he cried into her breast. She had never known how much pain Ben held inside until that moment. She remembered how she saw the pain Ricky held in him from when Ricky told her about what Bob did to him and how it broke him. She was there for him, and yet she realized the reason he wasn't there for her because he couldn't be. Ricky told her he wasn't that strong and she trembled to think how Ben must have felt to have to deal with all of this pain on his own. She never gave thought to how Ben dealt with anything, because she always admired Ben for his strength which he got from Leo, now she saw Ben had no strength left to give, because he had given it all to her.

She hated herself as she remembered everything Ben had done when they were together and how he helped her as she grieved for Mercy. Ben had held all of his pain in and only in small instances did he let it out. That is why he yelled at her in the nursery, because when she got rid of the nursery, Ben felt as though she was betraying Mercy's memory. That is why he continued to get into trouble with the alcohol, the marijuana,the school fire, sleeping with Alice, the car accident, and Dylan especially. Ben was trying his best not to feel the pain that was inside of him. He was trying to do whatever it took to numb, the pain or not feel it. Now he had no choice, its why he gave in so easily to the divorce like she did, he didn't want to remind himself of the pain he felt. Adrian promised herself then she would not let go of Ben, she would be there for him just as he had been there for her. He was there for her, and Amy because he loved both of them. Adrian was there for Ricky because she loved him, but she wasn't there for the man that loved her, but now she would be. She would hold him until the pain he felt stopped, and love him till the he felt better, and hold onto him forever.

In what seemed like hours Ben stopped crying, and looked at Adrian, as she wiped the tears away from his eyes, and helped him to his feet. "So, Benny are you ready to introduce me to your mom?" she asked. "Yes, I know I am." he said as he took her hand and turned towards his mothers' grave. Mom, I know that you are mad at me, because of my actions, but I would like to apologize to you for my actions, and do something that is long over due. Mom, I would like to introduce you to my ex-wife, the mother of your grand daughter Mercy, and the love of my life. Adrian Lee Enriquez - Boykewich." Ben said as he held Adrian's hand and spoke to the grave.

Adrian then turned to the grave, looked at the tombstone and said. "Hello Mrs. Boykewich, I'm sorry that it took me so long to meet you, and I'm sorry for my actions as well. I'm sorry for not introducing myself to you sooner. I am also sorry for how I took your son's virginity, treated our relationship, and not being there for him when he needed me. But I would like to thank you for giving birth to him, raising him to be such a loving, caring, and forgiving man. I would also like to thank you for taking care of ... our daughter since we can't." She said as tears fell from her eyes. Ben held her hand and placed a consoling arm around her shoulder. Mom we are both thankful for that.

It was at that moment that a large breeze blew through the still cemetery out of nowhere. The breeze scattered loose petals of roses, which cascading all around of Ben and Adrian as a beam of sunlight shined down on the two young reunited lovers. I think that was my mom, and Mercy saying hello." Ben said as he took Adrian's hand. Adrian and Ben then clasped their hands together as they both began to have a conversation with the two gravestones as if they were actually talking with both Sarah, and Mercy. They told of how they first met, or where both noticed the other, but neither approached the other. They told of how they became friends, and of how they both started to admire the other for their attributes. Adrian talked of how she admired Ben's confidence, his strength, and of his former dignity she joked. Ben spoke of how he loved Adrian's free spirit, her intelligence, her endurance, and of her heart. To them as the talked it didn't feel as if they had lost their daughter or Sarah, it felt as though they were just talking to them on the internet, and even though they heard no words from the graves they felt their presence in their hearts.

_**EPILOGUE**_

**(TO BETTER ACHIEVE THE FULL EFFECT OF THE EPILOGUE PLEASE LISTEN TO THE SONG "UNWRITTEN" BY NATASHA BEDINGFIELD)**

**_I am unwritten,_**  
**_Can't read my mind_**  
**_I'm undefined_**  
**_I'm just beginning_**  
**_The pen's in my hand_**  
**_Ending unplanned_**

Ben, Amy, Alice, Grace, Henry, Lauren, & Madison all graduated the following week, Grant was nominated the Valedictorian. Ben chose to go to New York and attend Hudson University. Although Amy would have liked to go to Hudson, she decided that she and Ricky could not make such a large move especially since they had made so many large steps already, and leaving so soon would be to stressful on their new marriage. Everyone attended the wedding including Ben and Adrian, as Ricky asked him to be his best man.

**_Staring at the blank page before you_**  
**_Open up the dirty window_**  
**_Let the sun illuminate the words_**  
**_That you could not find_**  
**_Reaching for something in the distance_**  
**_So close you can almost taste it_**  
**_Release your innovation_**

Even though Ben and Adrian decided to stay in a relationship, both decided to make their relationship open, since they too did not want to put stress on their relationship. Even though both dated neither missed an online date with the other as they tried to stay connected. Jack's recovery was long and harder than he anticipated, but he also progressed. Unfortunately he was unable to play football again, but he was allowed to keep his football scholarship, and became the new assistant coordinator.

**_Feel the rain on your skin_**  
**_No one else can feel it for you_**  
**_Only you can let it in_**  
**_No one else, no one else_**  
**_Can speak the words on your lips_**  
**_Drench yourself in words unspoken_**  
**_Live your life with arms wide open_**  
**_Today is where your book begins_**  
**_The rest is still unwritten, yeah_**

Grace accepted a scholarship with Grant to Yale University and tried the open relationship situation like Adrian and Ben, unfortunately it did not go as well for Grace and Jack. This was due to Grace who realized although she loved Jack she did not want to settle down with him at such a young age. Ricky and Amy were doing well, until another unplanned pregnancy interfered with how things were going for them. Although Ricky and Amy were happy to be having another child, neither was prepared to raise two children while in college, and so young. Ricky decided the best thing for both would be for him to quit college and work at the shop full time. This worked well to allow Amy her education.

**_Oh, oh_**

**_I break tradition_**  
**_Sometimes my tries_**  
**_Are outside the lines, oh yeah yeah_**  
**_We've been conditioned_**  
**_To not make mistakes_**  
**_But I can't live that way oh, oh_**

Reuben and Cindy both retired from their jobs in order to work on their marriage and fulfill the dreams they had together. Reuben opened his own private practice while Cindy returned to school to get her bachelors degree. This went well for both, but they too had an unexpected pregnancy, but were able to deal with the situation without altering their lives. Both were nervous as they informed their daughter of their situation. Although Adrian was shocked she was thrilled with both of them. However drama ensued when Adrian's younger brother from Rueben's first marriage had to move in with them. (But that is another story for another time)

**_Staring at the blank page before you_**  
**_Open up the dirty window_**  
**_Let the sun illuminate the words_**  
**_That you could not find_**  
**_Reaching for something in the distance_**  
**_So close you can almost taste it_**  
**_Release your inhibitions_**

As expected Kathleen and George got married, but instead of selling his old home George with Anne's approval gave their house to Ricky and Amy in order to better help them adjust to their living situation with two children. This also helped Nora, stay clean by having her family so close at hand. Adrian later moved from Glenn Valley when she recieved her Bachelors' degree in Criminal Justice, and Political Science with a 3.78 GPA. With this she was happy when she was given early acceptance to New York University. She thought that she would surprise Ben, but was surprised herself when he showed up at the airport waiting for her with a dozen roses, and a limo. He then took her on a helicopter ride of the city before he asked her to move in with him. She was more than happy to accept his offer, until he learned he wanted to work back up to sleeping together.

**_Feel the rain on your skin_**  
**_No one else can feel it for you_**  
**_Only you can let it in_**  
**_No one else, no one else_**  
**_Can speak the words on your lips_**  
**_drench yourself in words unspoken_**  
**_Live your life with arms wide open_**  
**_Today is where your book begins_**

Jack later dated Ben's younger sister Chloe when she attended school during his senior year, since he and Grace had decided to part under good terms. She was now dating a guy who was studying to be a surgeon, and had encouraged her to go into the field of Pediatrics, since she liked children so much. Even though Chloe and Jack were different and age, she always saw Jack as a hero for how he saved her from her pimp. Jack had to admit he liked the way Chloe viewed him, and soon they were dating exclusively. Anne who enjoyed her time with her family decided that she wanted to move to Italy in 2018 to be closer to Ashley whom they had not heard from in some time.

**_Feel the rain on your skin_**  
**_No one else can feel it for you_**  
**_Only you can let it in_**  
**_No one else, no one else_**  
**_Can speak the words on your lips_**  
**_drench yourself in words unspoken_**  
**_live your life with arms wide open_**  
**_Today is where your book begins_**  
**_the rest still unwritten_**

When Anne found her she was shocked to discover Ashley was running her own restaurant and was the proud wife and mother of twins. This news shocked everyone including George who had not spoken to Ashley since she refused to attend his wedding. It really put Amy in her place since she had not spoken to Ashley in years despite the numerous calls and texts. When the Jeurgens- Bowman family flew to see her Ashley simply said that they had moved on and replaced her so she replaced them. Amy tried to talk with Ashley, but realized that she had abandoned her sister when she needed her the most for selfish reasons. She hated to see that her sister had faced marriage, and pregnancy alone. Amy realized that Ashley was used to this because she never really got attention from her parents because she was always putting herself in front. It was then that Amy realized Ashley didn't move to get away from the family she moved to get away from her, because no matter how hard she tried Amy always made herself the center of attention, leaving Ashley out.

**_(Gospel)_**  
**_Staring at the blank page before you_**  
**_Open up the dirty window_**  
**_Let the sun illuminate the words_**  
**_That you could not find_**  
**_Reaching for something in the distance_**  
**_So close you can almost taste it_**  
**_Release your inhibitions_**

It took years of calling, several emails, letters, and surprise visits, but Ashley and Amy learned to rebuild the bond they had lost so many years ago by the time Ashley was due to give both to yet another set of twins. During all of this commotion no one noticed that Robbie had grown up, and with the help of Jack, Tom, and Ricky became quite the baseball player. This would help him since he and John or Johnny as he was now called both were the star pitchers on their little league team. This made them happy when Tammy, and Tom who had moved into the guest house announced they too were having kids. This served well since Grant was the representative coach with his son Jeremy by Lauren, which they had after both had graduated college. He went to medical school, and she to grad school to become a journalist. This was good for the double wedding they had along side Jason who went to school with Grant, and now Lauren and Madison were the sisters' they had dreamed of being.

**_Feel the rain on your skin_**  
**_No one else can feel it for you_**  
**_Only you can let it in_**  
**_No one else, no one else_**  
**_Can speak the words on your lips_**  
**_Drench yourself in words unspoken_**  
**_Live your life with arms wide open *****_**  
**_Today is where your book begins_**

However not all was good, Grace was involved in a car accident which killed her fiancee, and left her devastated. Henry had contracted testicular cancer which left him sterile devastating Alice who wanted kids. But, the car accident gave Grace a new life and she traveled to Africa to be with her brother Jacob, and continue her father's dream of helping those who could not afford proper medical care. Ethan and Kathy actually got married and he became a school counselor and she worked as a nurse. But the unsettling news hit home to the entire SECRET LIFE FAMILY when Leo dad of a heart attack at 63. This news devastated his entire family, especially Ben who was not their to help his father because he had taken a job in New York as the Chair Person for The MERCY FOUNDATION which was a charitable organization funded by Boykewich INT. and several other companies to help kids deal with Abuse, Sex, Pregnancy, and disease, as well as several other issues plaguing teenagers. His book **"The Secret Life of Teenagers**" was a best seller for two years. This was good news since he chose to live free of Leo's money when he and Adrian were married after she graduated from Law School.

**_Feel the rain on your skin_**  
**_No one else can feel it for you_**  
**_Only you can let it in_**  
**_No one else, no one else_**  
**_Can speak the words on your lips_**  
**_Drench yourself in words unspoken_**  
**_Live your life with arms wide open *****_**  
**_Today is where your book begins_**

However unlike when Adrian was not there to help Ben deal with Mercy she was there to help him deal with the death of his father. She ensured him that Leo would always be with him, and live on through their own son. Leonardo Antonio Boykewich. But not everything can end in a fairytale. There were trials ahead for all of them. There would be other problems for Ricky and Amy that included John and their son Carter. There would be strife and difficulty for Grace while she and Jacob lived in Africa. There would even be trouble and pain ahead for Ben and Adrian. But...

**_The rest is still unwritten_**

**_The rest is still unwritten_**


End file.
